


Deliver Us From Evil

by puszysty



Series: Cylon!Felix [1]
Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-14
Updated: 2009-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-08 17:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/77642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puszysty/pseuds/puszysty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix discovers he's a cylon during the occupation of New Caprica</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chief of Staff to the President and what was he doing? Watching the DRADIS screen. 'The more things change, the more they stay the same,' thought Felix, as he stared at the haze of Colonial One's DRADIS. He should have been looking over the plans for the school building, it was laying there on his lap, but he really wasn't in the mood at the moment. He knew it wasn't going to get built anyway.

All of a sudden, there were a lot more dots on the DRADIS screen than there should have been. "What the frak?" Felix hit the screen to see if it was just a glitch. The dots didn't go anywhere. In fact, even more of them showed up. "Frak. No. This isn't happening. Frak." Felix hit the screen, over and over, willing the dots to disappear. He knew it wasn't a glitch, that those really were ships, but he didn't want to believe it. He kept hitting, so many times he thought he might destroy it, until some of the dots did disappear. Just not the ones he was hoping for.

Felix's eyes went wide. "Oh no."

 

"Mr. President! Mr. President!" Felix exclaimed as he sprinted into the room. He hoped to the gods Baltar wasn't drunk again.

"Don't you knock?" Gaius whined. He was lying on the couch with two of his 'interns', very clearly not sober. Had it been any other time, he would've been furious. But right now, he was simply too shocked to feel anything else. And if what he had seen on DRADIS didn't sober Gaius up, he didn't know what would.

"Gaius. Gaius!" Felix didn't want to test his own patience now, not at a time like this.  
"Yea, what is it?" Baltar asked nonchalantly, not even bothering to get up.

"The cylons just jumped into orbit." Felix paused to catch his breath. And to brace himself to say what he feared wasn't actually true. "And the fleet's jumped away."

As if some sort of poetic injustice, the moment he'd said it, he heard the sound of cylon raiders flying overhead. Gaius looked out the window to catch a view of them. Felix bit his nails and debated running to the head to puke his guts out. Gaius certainly wasn't paying attention to him now. He stood there for what may have been seconds or may have been hours, listening to the growing sounds of more and more raiders flying overhead. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. And _Galactica_…

Felix ran and found the first toilet he could find.

 

All of Baltar's staff had gathered in Baltar's office. Most of them had said the same thing when Felix had gone to find them: they wanted witness this to know how to prepare for the future. Whatever President Baltar did when the cylons walked in would determine the fate of the entire settlement for the rest of their lives. There wasn't much anything any of them could do to influence him, they'd all learned that by now, but they needed to know what they had to look forward to. Felix found himself wishing for the thousandth time that he had never pointed out the rigged election. He knew how Roslin would react to this. Gaius he wasn't so sure about.

Felix clenched his fists as the cylons opened to the door. It took all he had not to want to jump forward and start beating the crap out of whoever walked in that door. But he knew better than that. Let Baltar do the talking. Work from there. Beating up a cylon now would only get him shot, and he wouldn't have accomplished anything besides releasing his anger. There were much more effective ways to get back at the cylons.

Four shadows walked through the door before it closed behind them. He identified them as they came out of single file and into view. The first was Doral, the PR manager and suicide bomber, one of the first cylons the fleet had known about. The second, Sharon, the most widely known cylon in the fleet. The third, Shelley Godfrey, the model who'd fingered Gaius for the attacks and had been kept prisoner on Pegasus. The fourth…no.

No.

It wasn't possible.


	2. Chapter 2

"No," he said outloud.

All eyes of the staff were on him. Him him, not… He wasn't a cylon. No. Couldn't be.

And yet, there he was. The other him. A copy of him. Standing there, in front of Baltar's desk with the other three cylons. It was like looking in the mirror, only the reflection didn't match his own expression.

He hadn't even noticed Gaius stand up from the desk before he heard him speak. The only thing he could think about was the cylon standing in front of him, the one who looked exactly like him. It smiled at him. Felix didn't even know what his own face looked like at that moment. It definitely didn't have a smile on it.

"I am Gaius Baltar, President of the Colonies," he heard Gaius say. He didn't look. He was still too focused staring at the copy of himself.

"We know who you are Gaius," said Shelley.

"We know very well," it spoke.

'Oh Gods, shut up,' Felix thought. It was even worse to hear it speak.

"As long as you offer no resistance, you won't be harmed," said Sharon.

Felix was pretty sure there was a surrender after that. The way the staff was milling about, whispering, with desperate looks on their faces indicated something of the sort. Felix didn't know what was said. All the sound in his ears had completely stopped, the rest of the world faded away, as he stared a terrible realization in the face- literally. He'd never thought, never suspected. He hadn't had any blackouts like Boomer did. Maybe this was all just a nightmare he was having after falling asleep at the DRADIS console.

Yet the longer he stared, the more he knew it wasn't a dream and he wasn't asleep. He was a cylon. He was a cylon and he'd done something terrible, something he didn't even know what it was.

"Come with us Felix," said Doral. Felix followed. He wasn't sure what else to do.

The four cylons led him outside, where Centurians were marching through the walkways between the tents and raiders were flying overhead. The four other models came to join them, all eight smiling proudly. "This is it. The beginning of a new tomorrow. Cylon and human finally united in one place," said D'Anna.

United. This didn't look like unity, this looked like a hostile takeover. D'Anna turned towards him. "And it's all thanks to you Felix."

"Me?" Felix asked, feeling like he wanted to faint. The cylons were coming to crush the humans into submission and it had all been because of him? He _had_ done something terrible. Something even worse than shooting the Admiral.

"What is he doing?" one of the cylons asked. Felix couldn't tell which, the world had gone completely hazy again.

"I believe he's hyperventilating. It's possible he hasn't come out of his sleeper state just yet," remarked a frightening looking black man in a lab coat. Felix hadn't even realized he'd been hyperventilating. Hadn't noticed the shortness of breath, or the warm flush coming over his face.

"You think?" said a Brother Cavil. "I say we shoot him."

"No!" Felix shouted. "No please! I don't want to die!"

"Felix, you're not going to die," soothed the copy of himself, placing a hand on Felix's shoulder. Felix shoved it off. "You'll wake up in another body, realize what you are, and everything will be fine."

Felix felt his breaths become quicker. He was pretty sure he was crying as well. "Oh for frak's sake," he heard Cavil say, before the familiar sound of a pistol rang through the air.

 

The next thing Felix knew, he was gasping for air and feeling awfully sticky. He felt…well, he wasn't sure he possessed the words to describe how he felt. He'd died, he was pretty sure. He'd been shot. And yet, here he was, alive and breathing. Just the knowledge that he was alive when sensations of his own death still lingered was beyond comprehension at that moment. That feeling, and the one that he was connected to something, not a higher power, but plugged in like a…like a toaster. That's what he was, wasn't he? A godsdamn frakking toaster. His conscious mind didn't have any doubts now, but his subconscious still didn't want to believe it.

"Welcome back, Seven," he heard D'Anna say. Felix turned his head, a move that felt strange and unfamiliar though he knew it shouldn't, and saw her standing over him.

"Seven?" he asked. He had a name, why were they referring to him by a number?

"Do you know what you are?" asked a copy of himself. Felix turned his head the other way. It was the same copy that had been at the surrender. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he did.

"Yes," Felix said. "I'm a cylon." It slid off his tongue a lot easier than he thought it would. The thought made him nauseous.

"Yes, number seven. Don't worry, we'll help you readjust," said D'Anna. "You've been a sleeper agent for a long time."

A sleeper agent, just like Boomer. But Felix had never killed anyone, he was sure of that. What had he done? He didn't remember being 'switched on', or ever doing something that wasn't a conscious decision. Even his cylon mind couldn't recall ever betraying the fleet. Yet he had, in a big way, somehow.

Suddenly Felix felt something wretch in his stomach. He extracted his arms from the sticky goo, grabbed the side of the tub, leaned over and puked all over the shoes of the copy of himself.

"Great," it said, shaking some of the bile off his shoes. "I knew I shouldn't have stood too close to a gunshot victim."

D'Anna reached out to caress his hair. Felix didn't want her hands anywhere near him, but he didn't have the strength to move. "It's natural to feel nauseous after resurrecting from being shot. You'll be alright. Let's get you out of here."

Felix slid back into the tub, and laid his head on the edge. He knew the reason he'd thrown up wasn't because he'd been shot. He wanted to go to sleep, for this to be some horrible nightmare that he would wake up from. The last thing he wanted to do was get out of the goo and go face the people he'd betrayed. The sick feeling hadn't left his stomach.

D'Anna procured a bathrobe and held it out to him. "C'mon. Get up."

Felix slowly rose to get out of the tub. He could feel his strength gradually come back to him, though he still felt a bit shaky and unsure on his feet. He put on the bathrobe, wrapping it tightly around him. It was softer than the towels on _Galactica_, warm and comforting. Felix couldn't help but wonder for a brief moment if this was the last time he'd ever get the feeling of comfort. He took a towel from D'Anna's hands and used it to wipe the goo off his face and out of his hair. "Could I-" Felix started, wondering if he should really be asking for favors from the cylons, even if he was one. "Could I take a shower? I feel sticky, and I'd rather not."

"Sure," said the copy, smiling at him. Felix wanted to slap it when it smiled. "It'll probably help you feel better anyway. Come see us when you're done. We have an important mission for you."

Felix froze. A mission? He'd just discovered that he was a cylon, a traitor, and already they wanted him to harm his people again? 'No Felix, not your people,' he reminded himself. 'Not anymore.' He was a cylon, a toaster, a skinjob, a…

"C'mon Seven. Don't be scared, it's easy to find your way around a resurrection ship. We'll take you to the shower."


	3. Chapter 3

Felix stepped off the heavy raider and onto New Caprican soil. Things looked a lot quieter than when he'd been shot. There were no raiders flying overhead, no armies of centurians marching down the streets. Just a number of skinjobs quietly milling about and the clanking and grinding sounds of a construction project. Felix wondered what the cylons were building. Then he decided he really didn't want to know.

It took him a second to realize it, but there was another reason things were so quiet. There were no humans, anywhere. There wasn't any way they could've all escaped; had they been exterminated? How much time had passed while he resurrected, and what had happened while he was gone? Felix involuntarily shivered. "Where is everyone? The humans, where are they?"

"All hiding in their tents, too afraid to talk to us," said one of the Dorals, or Five, as he'd been instructed to call them. "They'll get used to the idea, eventually. That or we'll just kill them all." Dor..Five smiled. It was positively sadistic.

Felix's expression went blank. "I'm kidding," said Five, his smile changing into a more lighthearted version. Felix had a feeling he wasn't. These cylons definitely would kill everyone at a moment's notice if things didn't go their way.

"No hard feelings about Cavil shooting you. It was for your own good. A lot easier to come out of sleeper status that way."

No hard feelings. They murdered him and they wanted him to shrug it off. _That_ was precisely why they wouldn't hesitate to wipe out humanity.

"So um, I'm supposed to be going on some sort of mission?" Felix decided to play along. If he didn't, he'd probably end up right back in that tub of goo feeling like a kitchen appliance again. He really didn't care to endure that more than once.

"Yes. You see, most of the executive staff have been arrested- they all insisted on resisting, the stupid fools- and we need to have someone to run the presidential office. It seems Baltar isn't exactly up to the job."

"You want me to what?" asked Felix, wondering if he'd misheard.

"Basically you'd just be continuing in your old position. Nothing complicated, just something that needs doing, unfortuantely. You won't be making the plans, just helping to implement them. And since you did such an excellent job before-"

"Wait," said Felix. Before? Did he mean the year they'd spent here on New Caprica? The year when Felix had to do everything himself if he wanted the settlement to be a success? "How do you know about what I was doing here, before you arrived?"

Five laughed- that sadistic smile was back. "Why Seven, if it hadn't been for you, none of this would even be possible."

Felix's eyes went wide. The cylon takeover was all his doing? He alone was responsible for enslaving the human race?

Five's hand clasped Felix's shoulder. "We'd have had a real war on our hands if you hadn't managed to keep Baltar in power. And doing it under the guise of helping humanity, that was brilliant."

Oh Gods. All that time. All that time he thought he'd been building the dream of New Caprica, he was actually paving the way for a cylon takeover. Humanity was doomed, and it was all because of him.

Five leaned in close and whispered in his ear. "You're a hero, Seven." Five removed his hand from Felix's shoulder and stepped away. "You'll have two Centurians escort you to Colonial One. I'm sure you can get around on your own after that."

"But-" Felix started in a panic. If he went back to Colonial One, everyone on this planet would be after him. Before this, he'd been a loyal officer and a trusted, well-respected member of New Caprican society. They'd hate him far more than they hated Boomer. Not that he didn't deserve it, for what he'd done to them. "They'll kill me if I go back there."

"Well then," said Five. "It's a good thing you can't die, isn't it?"

 

Felix wasn't sure what made him more nervous: walking through the streets with dozens of frightened, angry pairs of eyes peering out their tents at him, or the steady hum of the pulsing eyes of the Centurians behind him. Both were highly unnerving and just as likely to start shooting at any moment.

Felix stopped. The people in the tents he could do nothing about, but he could at least try to be rid of the humming. He turned to face the Centurians, though he couldn't look them directly in the eye slots. "I can get there from here, thank you."

The Centurians looked at each other, then at him. If they could talk, Felix was sure they'd say something about orders.

"I know my way around, I'll be fine. Go. Do…whatever it is you do usually." The Centurians weren't moving. Felix sighed and turned in the other direction. He was relieved to hear they weren't following him.

People were a little more daring to look at him without the Centurians on hand. No one was coming out of their tents, but the flaps were opening a little wider as he passed by. Felix didn't meet their glances; there was no way he could look any of them in the eye now.

Another of his models walked by him as he made his way down the street. He slowed, but the model just kept going. His gaze followed the model over his shoulder, trying to discern where it was going. He couldn't tell, but it would've been imprudent to follow. He didn't need to know the business of every cylon here. There was no way he could track them all. Felix turned his head back, but as he did, he caught a glimpse of a woman in her tent. Her eyes were darting back and forth, between him and the cylon who had just passed him. That's when it dawned on him: she had no way of telling him from any other cylon who looked like him. None of the humans did. Unless the humans started killing cylons en masse, he was in no immediate danger.

Though he suspected that wouldn't last long.

 

Felix arrived on Colonial One to find the ship packed with cylons. They were discussing things, plans, and going through documents that had been on board. Most of which he'd written himself.

"Ah, Felix, there you are. I was wondering when you'd be back." It was Boomer. And she called him Felix, not Seven. At least he wasn't the only former Colonial Officer-turned-cylon around here. The part of him that didn't find it disconcerting felt it nice to be around a familiar face.

"Yeah, I'm back," he said.

"I can't believe it took you almost an entire day to download. I didn't think it usually took that long."

So that explained why things had been much quieter. According to the clock on the wall, it was nearly 1000. It was afternoon when the cylons had shown up yesterday.

"Seven," called another Five who stood in the office. "Could you please go talk to President Baltar? We can't get him to come out of his room, and we need him to sign some presidential orders."

Felix had to go haul Baltar's ass out of bed to force him to get to work. The first Five was right, this was going to be exactly like he had been doing for the past year.

Felix sighed. "Yeah, sure," he said before cautiously entering through the bedroom door.

Gaius was lying on the bed, half asleep, but still in his suit. "Oh get out," he whined. "You really don't need me for any of this, do you?"

"Gaius," Felix said, slipping back into his familiar reprimanding tone.

Gaius rolled over on the bed so that he was on his back on looking at Felix. "Felix. Seven. Whatever the frak I'm supposed to call you now."

"I don't know about any of the others, but you can call me Felix," said Felix.

Gaius simply stared for a moment. Then he said, "It's you, isn't it? Felix."

"Yes," Felix replied, knowing exactly what Baltar meant. He sat down on the foot of the bed and put his hands in his lap. He stared down at them, playing with the sleeves of his shirt. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I didn't even know I was a cylon. I never… I wish I would've known. Maybe I'd have been able to stop it. Threw myself out an airlock or something. I don't want all of humanity to die. I don't, really."

"Are you crying, Mr. Gaeta?" Gaius asked, sitting up and looking a bit puzzled.

"What?" asked Felix. He reached up to wipe under his eye. Sure enough, his finger was damp. He hadn't even noticed.

"This isn't your fault Felix. It's not your fault they found us here and forced us to surrender. You can't blame yourself for any of this." Felix shook his head. It was his fault, his alone, and he was to blame for all of this. Not that he could ever tell Gaius that. Gaius wouldn't believe him anyway. He should've known better than to try to confess to this man in particular. He'd tried that once before, when he tried to express his guilt for leaving the military. Gaius had rambled on about civic duty, which had been completely aside from the point he'd been trying to make. Gaius hadn't heard a single word he said. Felix doubted he would listen now.

Felix wiped his eyes and stood up from the bed. "The cylons want you out there to sign some things. I don't think I need to tell you that they'll kill you if you don't. I'd suggest you get out of bed now."

Gaius stiffened and smoothed out his suit. "Well, Mr. Gaeta, if you insist." It was the same old song and dance, and Baltar probably detested him for it like he always did. Or maybe moreso now. "Tell your cylon friends I'll be right out. And see if you can get them off my ship afterwards, will you? It's rather uncomfortable having them all here at once."

"I'll see what I can do Mr. President," said Felix, adopting his political decorum once again. "But I'm afraid you're going to be stuck with me."


	4. Chapter 4

Felix walked into Gaius' office and placed a stack of papers and a pack of cigarettes on the desk. "Here you go Mr. President, the cigarettes you asked for, along with today's work."

"And what am I supposed to do with this?" Gaius asked, taking a swig of ambrosia from his glass. It was 0900 and Gaius was already half-drunk.

"Same as usual, Mr. President," replied Felix.

Gaius took the first sheet of paper from the stack. "Plans to expand the detention center? What, we're not keeping enough prisoners already?"

"It's what the cylons want Sir," said Felix. Half the settlement would be in detention soon enough, Felix imagined. Apparently the cylons were here under the guise of a peaceful truce, so overt murder wasn't okay. But locking people up indefinitely seemed perfectly fine.

"The cylons. You talk about them as if you weren't one of them, Number Seven," said Gaius, taking another drink. Gaius had started calling him Number Seven shortly after his confession in the bedroom. No one called him Felix anymore, not even Boomer. The humans were all too angry at him to use his name, and the cylons claimed it was part of the adjustment process, to take him away from feeling like a human. He hated it. To be detached from any sort of identity whatsoever, to be referred to not by a name but by a number, felt so humiliating, so…inhuman. Though he supposed that may be the point. However, it wasn't making him feel any more like a cylon.

Felix stared out the window of Colonial One. It had been almost two weeks since the takeover. Humans were beginning to appear on the streets again. They were going to the market for food, sending their children to school again, and stopping by to chat with each other. Felix couldn't see the faces of anyone from here, but he could tell just by the flow of the crowds that everyone was tense. It wasn't life as normal, but it was probably as close as they were ever going to get.

Felix hadn't left Colonial One since he arrived back on the ship. He was too afraid to, couldn't bear to face them. Even if he was a cylon, those were still his friends down there living with Centurians standing over their shoulders and being dragged off into custody. People like Colonel Tigh, and Chief Tyrol, and Kara Thrace were living in fear for their lives in way more terrifying than before. Here on New Caprica, they didn't have the protection of the _Galactica_ to keep them safe. They could be shot or snatched off the street at any moment, and there was absolutely nothing anyone could do about it.

"Number Seven," Gaius said in the tone that Felix knew meant he wanted something.

"Yes Mr. President?"

"I need you to go to Cottle's tent. My prescription is getting empty, I need it refilled."

Felix swallowed. "Sir, Cottle's tent is in the middle of the settlement."

"Yes, well, that just means you're going to have to walk doesn't it? Do you require a bullet proof vest or should I just expect the resurrection ship to contact me if anything's happened?"

Felix winced. Gaius had also taken to making stabs at his immortality, words that felt like barbs every time they came from his mouth. "I'll be fine Sir. I'll be on my way now."

"Good. And pick me up some ambrosia if you can manage it as well." Felix rolled his eyes. Even in the midst of cylon occupation, Gaius hadn't changed a bit.

 

Felix stepped off the ramp of Colonial One hesitantly. He took a deep breath in. It had been almost two weeks since he'd breathed fresh air. It still had the same crisp, cold taste it had before the takeover. It was probably the only thing left unchanged.

Felix walked cautiously through the streets. He knew he probably wasn't in any immediate danger, but it still felt like he might end up with a knife in his back at any moment. People had become less tentative than the last time he was out here. They were not only pulling open their flaps, but they were willing to emerge out into the streets and openly scorn the cylons that walked by. "Skinjob!" "Toaster!" they sneered as he passed their tents. Felix kept his head hung low.

Felix reached Cottle's tent unscathed, having nothing but a number of slurs and a couple empty ambrosia bottles hurled at him. Ishay was giving him a death glare as he entered.

"Is Doc Cottle here?" Felix asked. Ishay didn't answer, just continued to glare at him, and disappeared into another part of the tent. A minute later, Cottle emerged. "You're the third cylon I've seen in here today, you know that? I thought you people weren't supposed to need medicine." Cottle took a cigar out of his pocket and lit it up. "What is it you're looking for?"

Felix scuffed his foot in the dirt. "The president would like a refill on his meds Sir. He says he's getting low."

"The president. You really should figure out a way to wean him off those, I've got better uses for these pills," said Cottle over his cigar, as he grabbed a bottle from a nearby drawer.

"Well, I'm afraid the cylons have yet to implement a drug rehabilitation program Sir," remarked Felix with a half-smile. Ishay's glare got harsher. Cottle stared blankly for a moment, unsure of how to process the joke.

"What's with the Sir?" asked Cottle. "I haven't had any cylons use that around me."

"Old habits die hard Sir," said Felix.

Cottle removed the cigar from his mouth, a look of realization washing over his face. "You're the Seven that was on _Galactica_," he said.

"Yes Sir," replied Felix.

"It's not safe, you know. You should get out of here while you can. The whole fleet wants your head right now, and I can't say I blame them."

"I don't blame them either Sir." Cottle cocked an eyebrow at him. Felix wasn't going to explain it to him; he doubted any of the humans would believe that he didn't know the takeover was coming. So he decided to make his exit now and just leave the doctor wondering. Cottle probably wouldn't think too much over it once he was gone anyway. "Thank you Doc. Sir. For the advice, and for the medicine. I'll send someone else next time."

Cottle didn't say another word, just put the cigar back in his mouth and continued smoking as Felix left.

 

He probably should've listened to Cottle's advice and went straight back to Colonial One. But despite all the derisions and furtive glances, he savored being out in the open air again. It probably wouldn't happen again for a long time, and he wasn't ready to head back yet. Besides, he'd had just about enough of Baltar's subtle remarks of disdain and unwillingness to do anything to help the people of the fleet. He'd grown tired of it a long time ago, only now he had no one to commisserate about it with.

His feet led him instinctively to his tent that he'd all but abandoned. He opened the flap to see inside. The place had been looted, crates overturned, and his belongings strewn everywhere. Whoever had done it hadn't intended to rob it, just to trash it.

Felix picked up a picture off the ground. It was one of his family. Well, what he thought was his family. If they ever actually existed, Felix wasn't related to them, probably had never even met them. He had memories of the man in the photo taking him fishing out on the lake, the woman reading him bedtime stories, and the girl pulling on his curls while teasing him. But the memories weren't real. He'd never even had a childhood.

He thought about finishing the looters' job and tearing the photo the rest of the way to rid himself of the false memories. He couldn't bring himself to do it. If these were real people, they deserved better than that. Instead he put the picture in his pocket, noting that there was sure to be tape aboard Colonial One. The colonists had already started a memorial wall down on New Caprica when people began dying from pneumonia a few months ago. He'd put the picture there.

Felix decided to stay in his tent for a while. It probably wasn't safe, but he didn't care. Something about being here made him forget about the cylons, about the way they were constantly around, calling him Number Seven and casually asking him favors as if enslaving the human race meant nothing to him. Here Felix didn't have to be cylon or Chief of Staff, he could just be Felix. Felix picked up a book from the ground and began reading. The edges were tattered and worn and the pages were smudged with dirt, but the print was still readable. He'd read it a number of times now, but _Earth: The Final Frontier_ was his favorite book, and he never minded reading it again.

Two hours and eight chapters later, Felix glanced at his watch and decided he had better hurry back to Colonial One. The President was probably getting angry wondering where his pills where. Felix wasn't even going to bother with the booze. Felix tucked the book under his arm and stepped out of his tent. No one was paying attention, or if they were, they passed him off as just another cylon. He slipped easily back to his ship, not even the Centurian guards bothering him on his way.

 

Gaius was in a testy mood, just as Felix suspected. "What took you so long?" he snapped.

"Sorry Sir," said Felix, handing Baltar the bottle of pills.

"It's not prudent of you to the keep the President waiting, cylon or not. There is work to be done here Number Seven, I suggest you get to it before you cause this office to fall even more behind." Gaius Baltar was lecturing him about not getting things done. He tried not to process the irony of that one.

"Fetch me this afternoon's batch of documents, would you Number Seven?"

Felix bit his lip to hold back his irritation. "I have a name, Gaius."

"A name which you are hardly deserving," said Gaius. "That man, the Felix Gaeta I knew, was a good man. An honorable man."

'I still am that man,' thought Felix. 'Just because I've discovered I'm a cylon doesn't make me change overnight. Who I was and who I am now are not two different people.' But there was no point in arguing with Gaius Baltar. He'd learned that a long time ago.

 

After an afternoon of more underhanded comments from Gaius and a Five breathing down his neck about the water rationing litigation, Felix found himself wishing nothing more than to go back to his tent and curl up with his book. Seven, would you do this? Seven, go do that. It was like everyone had forgotten his name, or forgotten that he'd even had one to begin with. He'd lost his uniform, even his humanity, but dammit, he was not about to lose his name. He was still Felix Gaeta. Cylon or human, he was still Felix Gaeta.

Felix walked off Colonial One and glanced around the settlement. He had the urge to run by Colonel Tigh's tent in order to get the man to yell at him, just so he could hear his own name again. But really, Colonel Tigh was the last person he could face up to right now, and he was probably the last person the Colonel needed to see as well. So he headed for his tent instead. There was a risk the looters might come back in the middle of the night, but he supposed he could resurrect if something happened, though he hated the thought of ending up back on that ship.

He walked slowly, ignoring both the glances of the humans and the cylons. It was disconcerting to see the differences between the way they looked at him, the humans flinching and the cylons smiling.

"Hello Seven," one of the sixes greeted as she passed by.

'My name is Felix,' he wanted to say. 'Please, call me Felix.'

Felix kept walking. He had almost arrived back at his tent when someone caught his attention.

"Hey Felix," the voice said.


	5. Chapter 5

Felix turned around to greet the Eight who had spoken to him. "Hi," he said. She was smiling at him, but with a soft smile, something he hadn't seen in a long time.

"Do you remember me?" she asked.

Yes, he did. He hadn't before, but somehow the memory appeared to him as clear as it had happened yesterday. She was his girlfriend. They'd been together before he'd become a sleeper agent. Despite the strong memory in his mind, he now felt no attachment to her whatsoever. But she'd used his name, and right now, that was all that he needed.

"Yes," he told her.

She smiled. "It's good to see you. I've been looking for you, but I haven't been able to find you. Where have you been?"

"Colonial One. Working for President Baltar, or the cylons, whoever you like to think of as being in charge."

"They've still got you in your old assignment, huh? Well, I'm glad they've gotten you out of sleeper status at least. I've missed you." She hugged him. He reached out to hug her back. She seemed to fit right into his arms.

"Where have they got you posted?" Felix asked, out of curiousity. He wasn't sure if all of the other cylons had missions, or if most were just trying to lead normal lives. He didn't even know if cylons were capable of leading "normal" lives.

"I work at the detention center," she said. Felix's eyes went wide. He had a girlfriend, and she was incarcerating innocent people. What kind of person was he?

"Oh wipe that look off your face Felix. I work in the kitchen, that's all. Humans require three meals a day, and they need someone to cook and deliver it for them. I'm not gouging people's eyes out or anything." Felix swallowed. He wanted to believe her. After all, humans really did need to eat.

"Where were you headed?" she asked.

"Back to my tent," he said, shrugging it off like he went there all the time.

"Would you take me? I'd like to see it," she said.

"It's not much. It's just a tent. And it's a mess, someone trashed it."

"Well then, I'll help you clean it up."

Felix led the rest of the way back to his tent. Eight, his Eight, followed behind him. She tried to reach out for his hand, but he made a light fist to prevent their fingers from touching. He wasn't ready for that, not yet. He wasn't sure he ever wanted to be.

The tent looked exactly like he had left it earlier that day. Eight gasped when she saw it. He wondered why she seemed so surprised. It wasn't like the fleet had thrown a welcoming party for the cylons.

"Oh Felix, I'll help you straighten all this up."

"Don't bother," he said, waving her off. "The bed's fine and that's all I really ever use." He kind of liked it looking like this. It reminded him of what he was and what he'd done.

Felix sat down on the bed and took his boots off. He'd rather sleep here tonight. Eight sat down next to him and put her hands in his hair, massaging his scalp. Felix reached up to grab her wrists, then set them down in her lap. "Don't," he said.

"You used to love that," she said, pouting.

"I don't anymore."

She took her hands from her lap and wrapped them around his shoulders. He got the feeling she wasn't going to stop trying to touch him, and this felt the least intrusive. "What's wrong Felix?"

Felix sighed. "Everything," he said. He wanted to tell her about what he'd done, how he'd ended up enslaving the people he cared so much about. But even if she was his girlfriend, she was still a cylon. And as much as he wanted to trust anyone right now, he couldn't risk it.

"I'm just…having trouble readjusting," he said. It was true, he supposed, he just didn't want to readjust. He didn't want to be one of them. "I know I'm a cylon, but I still feel like a human."

"Boomer said the same thing to me once. Have you talked to her?" He hadn't. He wasn't quite sure what to say to her. 'Hey, can't believe you shot the Old Man, how you doing with the cylon thing?' Though maybe he should. If she still felt guilty about shooting Admiral Adama, Felix wouldn't be so alone on this planet. And maybe she'd figured out a way to get the cylons to recognize her for who she was.

Felix shook his head. Eight wrapped her arms tighter around him. "Oh baby, it's okay. Don't worry, you'll readjust soon. Just give it some time. I'll help you if you need me to."

Felix wished it were only that easy. It would take more than time to overcome the guilt he felt. He wasn't even sure he wanted to overcome it at all.

 

Felix avoided his tent the next night. He knew Eight would try to find him again, and he didn't feel like seeing her. He wanted to find Boomer, but his workload managed to pile up even more than usual and he barely left his office the whole day. But the day after that, Boomer dropped by Colonial One to drop something off, and he caught her on her way in.

"Hey, Boomer, I wanted to talk to you," he said.

"Sure Seven, what about?" she asked. He'd forgotten two nights ago that she referred to him as Seven now. That should have answered his questions right there, but he couldn't stop the words from coming from his mouth anyway.

"Do you feel guilty? About shooting the Old Man?" Felix asked.

"No," Boomer said, not even flinching. Felix felt something break inside of him. "It was part of my programming, I couldn't control that. But now that I know I'm a cylon, I can try to be a good cylon, not someone who's going to wipe out the human race. I don't know about the others, but I came here in peace. I don't want to hurt anyone."

Felix let out the breath he'd been holding. "You really think it's possible to be a cylon and live in peace with humanity?"

"Yeah, I do," replied Boomer. Felix nodded. He wanted to know how she felt it could be done, how she could live in peace with the people she'd betrayed. Maybe he could live in peace with himself if he knew how.

Boomer looked to be in a hurry though, and he avoided pressing her further right away. They could have a long talk later when they both had the time. "Those for President Baltar?" he asked, pointing to the documents in her hand. "I'll take them."

"Oh sure. Thank you."

"What are they?" he asked, taking them from her.

"Plans for the finalization of the detention center. Just something he should sign," she said.

Felix paused. "Finalizing the detention center?"

"Yeah, the extension going up? I'm sure you've seen it. It's almost finished, just a few final security measures and they'll have it ready."

That's when he realized that Boomer was only fooling herself. The cylons couldn't live in peace with the humans, not when the very first building they'd erected was a giant prison. Was she honestly that blind not to realize that? Or had the buildup of guilt simply skewed her vision of reality? She certainly didn't look guilty as she sauntered away. It didn't really matter what she thought, he supposed. She would be no help to him. He didn't ever want to become like that.

 

Felix needed something that night, the comfort of someone who understood him, even a little. He found himself seeking out his Eight, wanting to be near her. She had been his girlfriend once, which had to mean she understood him at one point. Maybe she still did and he just didn't see it. Luckily, she was waiting for him at his tent and he hadn't had to search hard at all.

She sat there on the bed with her hands folded and a distressed look on her face. "Felix!" she cried, springing up from the bed when she saw him enter the tent. "Where have you-" Felix silenced her with a forceful kiss. Then he began tearing her clothes off, so feverishly he barely knew what he was doing. Before he knew it they were both naked and the urge to feel her got even stronger. "Felix, what's gotten into you?" she asked.

"Don't say anything," he said, then pressed his lips to hers again and manuevered her onto the bed. The sensation of his body against hers, of his hormone levels rising as he slid in and out of her, made the rest of the world and all his feelings disappear. When he exploded in a release, it was like all his emotions were being released from him as well.

It was morning when he realized exactly what he'd done. He'd slept with a cylon. His friends were living under the heavy arm of the cylons every day and he'd slept with one of them. 'But you're a cylon too,' Felix reminded himself. It didn't make him feel any less like a traitor.

"Mm, baby, I've never seen you do it like that. Where'd that come from?" asked Eight, the sound of sleep and sex still in her voice.

Felix stayed sitting on the edge of bed with his head in his hands. "Felix, is something wrong?" she asked, running her hand across his back.

"I talked to Boomer yesterday. It wasn't…We're not the same."

"It's really bothering you, huh?" Eight asked. Felix didn't respond. "You should pray."

"Pray?" Felix asked, finally peering out from between his fingers.

"Yes. If you're really feeling that lost, you should seek God's guidance. He can always lead the way back when no one else can. The Twos have set up a makeshift prayer area by the river. Please, just try it. I hate to see you so upset Felix."

Felix stood up from the bed and put his clothes back on. He didn't know if he should be praying to the cylon God, but if it helped to sort through what had become of his life, he was willing to try anything. "Thanks," he told Eight. Then he made his way to Colonial One to tell someone he was taking the day off and was heading to the river.

 

The makeshift prayer area the Twos had constructed consisted of a couple logs set up as sitting areas, a firepit, and a religious icon Felix didn't remember well enough to recognize. It was deserted all but for one Two, head bowed over clasped hands. He was whispering something, some sort of prayer. Felix crept closer to hear him.

"…and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For thine…"

Felix stepped back. This wasn't right. Forgive those who trespass against us. If this, New Caprica, was the cylon definition of forgiveness for the creation and abuse of the cylons by the humans fifty years ago, he wanted nothing to do with this god or anyone who worshipped him. Even if he was a part of their race, he vowed then and there that he would never become one of them. A cylon had overcome what they were programmed to be once before. It could be done again.


	6. Chapter 6

Felix was walking away from the prayer area when one of the Ones passed by him. "Praying to the cylon God?" he asked, a mocking tone in his voice.

"Thought about it," said Felix. "Decided I was more of an atheist instead."

One smiled in that twisted way he always did when he liked something. "Maybe you're not so worthless after all."

Felix turned and walked away, ignoring whatever else One might have to say to him. That model unnerved him far more than the others. "Yeah, maybe," he agreed under his breath.

 

Another two weeks passed by without much happening. Gaius kept his hands full in the presidential office, unwilling to do anything to help the human race and still disdainfully calling him out on his cylonhood. Felix stayed in his tent every now and then when he needed the escape. He let Eight visit him on occasion, but they didn't sleep together again. He never told her much, usually just let her do all the talking. He wasn't sure if he could trust her.

Word was going around that a resistance movement was starting to form up. Felix wasn't surprised, he knew the colonials wouldn't wait long. He wasn't sure what they were doing; if anything had happened, news of it hadn't reached the presidential office. He was sure that whatever they were doing, Colonel Tigh was in charge of planning it. Nobody hated the cylons more than the Colonel did.

Shortly after the whispers of a resistance starting going around, people began to disappear off the streets. Felix wasn't privvy to the human end of the talk, but he heard what the cylons were saying. They used excuses like being out after curfew or entering restricted areas, but Felix knew why they were really arresting people. Anyone who was suspected of having anything to do with a resistance was being put in detention. He hadn't heard any names yet, but that didn't make him feel any less at ease.

"Seven, would you go fetch my pills again? And for the love of the gods get me some ambrosia," said Gaius from beneath his arms on the desk. Felix was more than happy to oblige, Gaius was insufferable today. Not that Gaius needed any more pills or alcohol.

Felix entered Cottle's tent expecting to see Ishay glaring at him, but it was surprisingly empty. "Hello?" Felix called out. Cottle emerged from another part of the tent, cigar stuck between his teeth. "What can I do for you?" he asked.

"Here for the President's pills again, Sir," said Felix.

Cottle removed the cigar from his mouth. "It's you again. I thought I told you it wasn't safe for you here."

"Needed some fresh air Sir," said Felix. "Where's Ishay?"

"Damned if I know," replied Cottle. "Haven't seen her in two days. Cylons probably got her locked up. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"Afraid I don't, Sir," offered Felix. "They like to keep anything to do with the detention center separate."

Cottle grunted.

"I'll um. I'll see if I can find her. I'm sure you could use the help back."

"You're damn right I could," said Cottle, putting the cigar back in his mouth. "Oh and Felix?"

Felix. He'd called him Felix. "Yes?"

"I meant it. Stay away from here unless you're looking to get yourself shot."

Felix nodded and left the tent. Here was his chance to bring himself a little redemption. Cottle still saw him as Felix Gaeta, and Felix owed it to the doctor to help him wherever he could. Cottle couldn't find Ishay, but Felix could. He was a cylon, he had access to everything the cylons were doing here on New Caprica. He could easily find out if Ishay had been detained.

As a matter of fact, he already had an in at the detention center.

 

Eight was there at his tent that night, like she always was. She was sitting on the bed waiting for him, hands crossed over her lap. Felix figured it was a good of a time as any to broach the subject.

"Hey, you work at the detention center, right?" Felix asked, deciding just to dive right into it.

"Yes, but I told you, just in the kitchen," said Eight, starting to look a bit confused.

"Is there any way you could get somone out perhaps?" This was it, this was his test. If she could do this for him, he would know that he could trust her. If not, she was just another cylon, and he'd have to find a way to break off their semblance of a relationship.

"Why do you want to get anyone out?" she asked.

"She's a nurse. She's important. To the humans, yes, but to us too. We need medical personnel. If the rumors about the resistance are true, cylons are going to start getting injured, and the Fours can't fix us up if they're the ones getting hurt. We can't afford to lock up doctors and nurses." Felix hoped that sounded convincing.

"What's her name?" Eight asked.

Felix wanted to breath a sigh of relief, but doing so would've betrayed his intentions. She'd bought it. "Ishay. Layne Ishay."

"I'll see what I can do," Eight said. "Tomorrow. Come to bed Felix, it's getting late."

Felix shook his head. "No," he said. Not tonight. He'd be too edgy to sleep next to her, not knowing if she'd do it or not. He needed to be somewhere else tonight. "I'm going back to Colonial One. I've got too much work to do, it'll be a long night and I'll probably crash there." He hurried out the tent before she was able to reply.

 

Felix wasn't usually out this late in the evening. It really wasn't late out at all, the sun had just set and the sky was a hazy shade of purplish grey. In the days before the occupation, this was the time of day people started heading for the makeshift bar that had been erected. Now the streets were empty. The cylons had instituted this time of day as curfew as a way to monitor the human populace. Anyone suspected of being out after curfew was immediately suspected of sneaking around for the resistance.

Felix doubted any of those who'd been arrested on true curfew charges were actually resistance members. He knew the resistance wouldn't be that stupid. The people being arrested were probably just innocent people who'd forgotten to pay attention to the time. Unknowning young kids even. Felix shivered.

It was unsettling walking through the empty streets at night, knowing they should have been bustling with action. People weren't even opening the flaps on their tents as he walked by. It was like the first day of the occupation all over again. The same uneasy feeling came back to Felix's stomach. He could feel their fear as he walked.

Felix reached the Centurian guards that stood outside Colonial One. They didn't even flinch as he passed by him. He'd never get used to that either. The sound of their pulsing eyes sent chills down his spine. He'd seen the way they were hypervigilant when any human came to their post, but they seemed to not even notice his presence when he passed. It was a blessing he supposed. He got tense just hearing them nearby; he couldn't imagine how frightening it must have been to be inspected by one. Still, he wanted them to move, to just do anything when he walked by. Something to disrupt the eeriness. He thought about throwing a rock at them, but decided against it. They'd probably start shooting into the settlement, and that was the last thing he wanted.

Felix crept quietly into his office. He wasn't tired yet, and he'd left his book out at his tent. So Felix took out a pen and went back to the paperwork he'd left for the day.

 

The next evening, Felix headed back to his tent. He'd have to see Eight again, but he wanted a book to keep in his desk at Colonial One, so he didn't have much of a choice.

On his way there, he spotted a familiar face. "Ishay?"

"Frak off, cylon," she growled. She looked weary and worn, and Felix knew she had definitely been in the detention center. But she was out. Eight had done it. He really could trust her.

Now, if he could find out who else was being held there, maybe he could free even more people.


	7. Chapter 7

"You did it," Felix said, smiling.

"What, got that nurse out? Yeah, I did. It wasn't hard. I talked to one of the other Eights who's a guard, told her what you told me, and convinced them to let her go," Eight said.

"Do you think-" Felix paused. She'd proved it, proved he could trust her. He could ask. "Do you think you could get any more out?"

"More people? I don't know Felix. Are there more doctors in there?" she asked him.

Felix paced, in the small area the tent would allow. "I don't know. I don't know who's in there. But I'll try to find out. If I find out, can you get them out?"

"I don't know Felix. It depends on who. Anyone that's too important to the humans, too dangerous, they'll never let out." Felix bit his lip. Maybe he was asking too much too quickly.

"I can try," she said. Felix smiled. He sat down on the bed and kissed her lightly. Eight pulled back. "Why do you care anyway?"

"I know these people Eight. They aren't just objects to me. We're supposed to be living with these people, not- I can trust you, right?"

Eight smiled at him. "Of course you can Felix." Then she kissed him, and they melted into the bed together.

 

Felix awoke the next morning to see a copy of himself standing over the bed.

"We've discovered that our species can't procreate together, you know," it said, completely expressionless.

"Huh?" grunted Felix, rubbing his eyes.

"We need President Baltar this morning. It's not nine yet, so you'll have to get him up and make sure he's conscious."

Felix stretched and reached to pick his clothes off the ground, really wishing this cylon would just go away and leave him alone. "You could've done it. We all look the same to him."

The copy didn't move. "He's your project. You deal with him."

Even the other cylons didn't want to deal with Baltar. That was something worth noting. He wondered what that said about him. "Alright, fine. Just give me a minute."

The other cylon still didn't move. Felix was getting annoyed with it. "Get out of here so I can get dressed, will you?"

"Trust me, I already know what you look like naked."

"Go!" Felix shouted.

 

Felix knocked on the door of the president's bedroom. "Gaius," he said through the door. There was no answer. Felix sighed. He was going to have to do this the hard way, to physically go in and pull the man out of bed. He hated when it came to that.

Felix opened the hatch and stepped in the door. He was about to call out Gaius' name again when he spotted a woman in bed with Gaius.

No, not a woman. A cylon. A Six.

Felix suddenly felt furious. "Gaius, you're sleeping with a cylon?!" he shouted.

"What?" said Gaius in a sleep heavy voice.

"You're not…jealous…are you Seven?" asked the Six in his bed.

"No," Felix growled. Actually, if he stopped and thought about it, he wasn't jealous at all. He had absolutely no romantic feelings for Gaius Baltar. It wasn't even a sense of personal betrayal, or the build up of impatience and annoyance. It was just…nothing.

It was all part of his programming, Felix realized. His love, his hero worship, were just what he had been programmed with to promote the credibility and feed the ego of Gaius Baltar. It was an incredibly freeing realization.

That, however, didn't stop him from being angry on behalf of all the people on New Caprica.

"Do you know what your people are going through down there? Innocent people are being thrown in jail, people are fearing for their lives! And you're up here, doing what Gaius?"

"Yes, Seven, as a matter of fact I am aware of what's happening to the people of New Caprica. But what am I going to do to help them, huh? What could I possibly do? You and I both know the cylons are the ones that run things around here. They won't listen to me."

Felix hated to admit it, but Gaius was right in part. No one took the man seriously. But that still didn't change the fact that Gaius was having sex with a cylon when his people were being hauled off to the detention center.

Felix looked at the Six in bed with Gaius. He was expecting her to be looking at him like he was crazy, like he was a damaged cylon. Instead the look on her face was one that looked an awful lot like compassion.

Felix turned back to Gaius. "You frakking traitor," he scowled.

"Well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what is," Gaius sneered.

Felix clenched his fists. He couldn't kill Gaius now, that would really land him in trouble. The cylons needed Gaius, their mission for Felix was proof of that. But he could give Baltar a very big black eye.

"Stop it. Both of you," said the Six. Felix looked at her again. She was hard to read. She didn't look bitter and distrustful like the rest of the cylons. Felix watched as she put her arms around Gaius. It was a protective embrace. Felix cocked an eyebrow.

"You can go now, number Seven, I'll be out shortly," said Gaius.

Felix left the room, still trying to process everything he just saw.

 

Later that afternoon, when Felix was needlessly processing memos for the other cylons- he didn't know why they still bothered with the bureaucracy- he heard the door to his office creak open. In came the Six that had been in Gaius' bed that morning.

"Can I do something for you?" he asked, expecting her to say Gaius needed him for something.

"Are you really not jealous?" she asked. She actually looked nervous.

Felix put down his pen and the stack of papers and looked her in the eye. "I'm really not."

"Gaius," she paused. "Gaius said you two had slept together once."

Once might have been an understatement. There was no point in correcting her, however, that was long past. To Felix, it felt like it had been years ago. "We did, yes. But it was all part of my programming I think, my feelings for him. I don't feel anything now. It's not a void, or a heartbreak, just…nothing."

Six nodded. She appeared a little relieved, but also a little…sad, maybe? Did the cylons, the ones who hadn't ever believed they were human, know how to feel sadness?

It was then that Felix realized just what he had witnessed earlier. "You care about him, don't you? It's not your programming, or anything like that, you genuinely care about him?"

"I do," she responded.

"Why?" he asked, perplexed. "How could you care about a man like Gaius Baltar? I know what he's like. How can you still care about him, seeing him like that every day?"

Six looked down at the floor. "I wish I knew."


	8. Chapter 8

Felix was rifling through the files down in storage. He knew the cylons were keeping records of everyone who was being sent to detention, he'd overheard a Five mention something about it the other day. It wasn't something he was supposed to have heard, he was sure, but Felix was quickly becoming an expert in eavesdropping. The cylons weren't saying anything important loud enough for most people to hear. It was funny, for so long it was the humans who were terrified of the cylons, but now the cylons were starting to become afraid of the humans, all because of a few rumors. It made Felix smile.

Unfortunately none of the files down here were of any consequence. It was all just minor stuff, files on food rationing, and how "effective" curfew was, and other useless junk. Apparently the important information was kept elsewhere.

Felix looked off to his left. There was a data bank there. If he used it, he could probably find out more information, at least on where the lists of detainees were being kept. He was afraid to touch it however. If it was anything like resurrection, like being plugged in like an appliance, he wanted nothing to do with it.

Felix looked at the files in his hand again. Junk. 'Oh frak it,' he thought. 'Just this once, just to get what I need. Then I'll never have to do it again.' Felix cautiously approached the data bank. He stared at it for a second, then slowly put his hand down into the goo and-

Holy frak. Code. Miles and miles of code. Bits of data, thousands of pieces of information whizzing through his brain. More information than he could ever imagine, all circulating through him. Holy frak, this was better than an orgasm.

"And you wondered why you liked working with computers so much."

Felix jumped back, taking his hand out of the goo. "Boomer," he said, startled. He wasn't expecting anyone to come down here.

"On _Galactica_ I mean. Why you enjoyed working with the computers in CIC. Your model loves to swim in the data stream."

Felix's face twisted. His model. It wasn't part of him, just his programming.

"What were you looking for?" Boomer asked.

"The location of a file," said Felix. It was the truth, sort of. "Something Baltar needs, but I can't seem to find."

"Oh. Well, good luck." With that, Boomer walked off, picking up a file on the tilium mine on her way out.

Felix put his hand back on the screen. Model quirk or not, this felt fantastic. The things he could do with all this data…

There. There it was. The detainee lists were being kept in the locked depository, near the detention center.

Felix removed his hand from the screen and shook off the goo. He could've used a towel at that moment, or at least a sink. That stuff was sticky and disgusting. No matter. He had what he needed. Now he just had to head over there and find those lists.

 

Felix made his way over to the depository. For once, he was glad that the Centurians paid no attention to him; he was able to pass right in. Felix looked around the room. It was filled with drawers. He hoped they weren't all full. If they were, that was a lot of information the cylons were hiding, all of it potentially to be used against the humans. Felix tried not to think about it. He couldn't save this planet all at once, not right now. He could, however, free a few people from detention and that was what he was here to do.

Felix found the data bank and stuck his hand in. Gods that felt good. 'Don't lose yourself Felix,' he thought. 'You're just here for the list of detainees.' List of detainees, list of detainees. Drawer 22.

Felix removed his hand and wiped it on his pants. "Drawer 22," he said, and the drawer popped open. Felix walked over to the open drawer. Sure enough, there was a stack of lists. There were a lot more sheets of paper there than he'd thought. That wasn't a good sign.

Felix considered taking the top sheet from the stack and handing it to Eight later that night. But whoever was in here next might notice, and then he'd have to find some explanation for a missing sheet of paper. So instead Felix browsed over the lists, taking note of some of the names on them. When he'd committed enough to memory, he put the stack back down in the drawer and closed it. Then he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked nonchalantly out of the depository.

 

Felix was on edge for the rest of the work day. All he could think about where those lists, the names he memorized burning in his mind. He knew the people on those lists. He had memories of each one of them, real memories, not like the memories of his family. Many of them he couldn't imagine doing anything to warrant being locked away. He didn't want to picture exactly what was going on at the detention center. Felix knew that he had to get them out as soon as possible.

Felix tried not to break into a run as he headed toward his tent that night. He didn't want to attract attention, not if he wanted to keep doing this on a regular basis. It wouldn't have done any good anyway. There was nothing Eight could do tonight, since she wasn't expected back at the detention center until morning.

She was there, as always, and while Felix knew he should have broached the subject cautiously, he couldn't help but jump right into it. It was the only thing that had been on his mind all day, and trying to talk about anything else would have been impossible.

"I have some names," blurted Felix.

"Oh. Okay," said Eight, sounding apprehensive. "The people you think should be out of detention, right?"

"We're supposed to be living with peace with humanity. We can't do that if we're putting innocent people in prison," said Felix. "You know that." At least, he hoped she did.

"Of course, Felix," she said, smiling. Felix inwardly sighed with relief. "I can't promise anything, but I can try."

Felix sat down on his cot next to Eight and put his hand on her shoulder. "Whatever you did to get Ishay out, you did great, you can do it again."

"That was just one person, Felix. Big groups…I don't know."

Felix shook his head. He'd been so eager, he hadn't even thought of that. As much as these people needed to be out, releasing large numbers at one time would look suspicious. And as much as the argument for living in peace had convinced his Eight, he didn't think it would work with everyone. He'd seen enough Ones, enough Fives, enough Threes, even enough Sevens to know that living in peace with humanity was not what the cylons were after.

Felix took out his pen and a small piece of paper he'd swiped from Colonial One and began writing. "Well, do whatever you can. Even if you can only get a few out, you can get the rest later. These people, they don't deserve to be in there," he instructed her as he wrote. "And make sure no one sees this list, you got that? If anyone recognizes my handwriting-"

Eight stopped his hand. "I know. I'll keep it safe."

Felix nodded, then frantically went back to writing. He finished the list, 35 names total, folded it in half, then in half again, and handed it to Eight. "Be careful. And good luck," he told her. She nodded and stuck the list in her jacket pocket.

Eight eased up and put a hand on Felix's shoulder. "Did you want to get to sleep now? Or maybe do something else?"

Felix brushed her away. "No, I'm not tired and I'm really not in the mood for…other things. I'm going back to Colonial One. I'll see you tomorrow." Felix stood up and made his way out the tent. He was too nervous to sleep.

"Felix," she called after him, but Felix was already out the door. The names were already put to paper, there was nothing more he could do, but he couldn't stop them from lingering in his mind. And though he wished he could stow them away until morning, he knew they'd probably stay there until he saw their faces on the street again.


	9. Chapter 9

Felix hadn't slept at all that night. It was even worse that his cylon body didn't allow him to grow tired, drowsiness might have let him relax. Instead he felt tense, had all night and all day, and it wasn't abating at all. If he stayed like this, he'd probably pop a vein. Or blow a circuit. Whatever happened to cylons when they got like this. Although he wasn't sure they ever did.

"Are you alright Seven?" Felix glanced up from his desk. He hadn't heard her come in. It was Six, the one who was sleeping with Gaius. He hadn't been expecting her and honestly thought she'd never approach him again.

"I, um," Felix started. It'd be dangerous to say anything about what he was doing, especially to a cylon he was so unable to read. It'd be better to lie, even if his body language told a different story. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't look like it," she said. Felix didn't answer her. He was hoping she'd say something else, something that would give any indication why she was here. She didn't move.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Six spoke up. "I wanted to talk to you."

'Is she really that insecure?' thought Felix. 'She wants me to tell her again that I don't have feelings for Gaius?'

"Um, sure, about what?" Felix asked.

Six pulled up the spare chair in Felix's office and sat down in front of his desk. She wore that same look that she had in the bed the other day, the one that spoke of something like concern. "I'm worried about Gaius," she said.

"Why is that?" asked Felix.

"He's been drinking a lot lately, he's distant, he just doesn't seem to care about anything."

Felix sighed. Sounded like typical Gaius to him. "He was like that before the occupation."

"Seven, please," she pleaded. She looked almost desperate.

"What do you want me to do? I can't change the present circumstances-" though gods, or god, knew he wished he could, "-and Gaius doesn't exactly like me or trust me at all any more. He won't listen to me."

"He won't listen to me either Seven!" she cried. "And I thought we…that he…"

"Loved you?" Felix finished. His first instinct was to dismiss her as pathetic, until he remembered that he had been the exact same way. Emotionally subject to the will, or rather lack thereof, of Gaius Baltar. It might have just been his programming, but he still knew how it _felt_.

"Look, Six," he said. "There are some things you can change and some you can't. And the things you can't change are the ones you have to learn to live with. Even if those things happen to be who or what you are, no matter how terrible they might make you feel. But somethimes…sometimes even if you can't change everything, there might be something small you can do, one little thing you can change to make things better. And from there, who knows what might happen."

Six eyed him intently. "You're not talking about Gaius anymore, are you?" she asked.

Felix looked over his shoulder and out his small window that provided a view of New Caprica. It used to be a nice view of what was going on in the settlement, but now all he could see was the detention center looming over the encampment. "No, I don't think I am."

Six got up from the chair, but instead of heading right for the door, paused to glance out the window, then at Felix. "This isn't what I wanted either," she said.

Felix had the feeling she wasn't talking about Gaius anymore either.

 

On his way back to his tent that evening, Felix spotted Duck walking the other way. Felix smiled. Duck had been on the list.

"Hey Duck," said Felix, too soon to realize what a mistake it was to say anything. Duck didn't see him as Lieutenant Gaeta any more. There were probably other Sevens working at the detention center, and to Duck, he was just another one of them.

"You son of a bitch," snarled Duck, as he lunged for Felix. Felix instinctively jumped back like he used to whenever a Viper pilot came at him, usually drunk and just having lost a big hand at Triad. Duck, however, was not drunk, and kept coming. He grabbed Felix by the arms, his face quickly turning red enough to match his hair. Felix shoved him to the ground, perhaps too hard, judging by Duck's wince.

"What are you doing?" asked Felix. "If the Centurians see you attacking me, they'll fill you full of bullet holes."

"You think I care? You killed my wife!" he shouted.

"Nora?" Felix balked. Nora had been on the list too. He was out and she was dead. Gods, they'd probably just been out for a late night rendevous by the river like they used to before the occupation. If only he'd done something sooner.

"I'm sorry," said Felix.

"Like hell you are," Duck spat. He scrambled to his feet and walked off in the direction he'd been going, throwing very hurt, angry glares over his shoulder as he went.

Felix didn't move. He'd been too late. They were good people. Now one was dead and the other might as well be. All because of him. Felix just hoped it wasn't too late for any of the others.

 

"Felix," greeted Eight as he walked in the tent. "I got a few out."

"I know," said Felix, his head hanging and eyes cast to the floor.

"Felix?" she asked.

"I saw Duck," said Felix simply. He didn't want to tell the whole story. Besides, if she'd tried to get Nora out, she already knew.

"Duck Clellan, yeah, he was one of the ones I got out. And this one," she said, pointing to the name Matthew Pembroke. He'd been a jeweler back on Canceron, and had been making wedding rings for all the people getting married in the past year. People like Duck and Nora.

"And these two," pointing to another couple who'd been imprisoned together, along with their three year old son. If the cylons honestly thought three year olds were capable of participating in the resistance, they were completely out of their minds. "But nobody knows what happened to the child." Eight's voiced hitched as she said it. Felix looked up from the list at her. She was crying.

"Hey," he said, reaching out for her. "Hey, it's ok. Four people. Four, that's good, that's really good." It was, considering how careful they had to be. Even if the cylons had potentially killed a frakking three year old.

Eight wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "I'm sorry. You can think of more names and we can write more lists."

"Of course we can," replied Felix. "Of course we can. We will. Okay?" She looked even more upset than he was. Maybe seeing those people locked up, and seeing what they looked like when they got out was starting to get to her. He didn't want to think he was happy to see her upset, but he was glad. Glad that he wasn't the only one that realized what they were doing was wrong. Glad that another cylon was affected by what was happening to the humans.

"Thank you," whispered Felix, and he leaned in to kiss her. He could taste the tears on her lips. It was reassuring. He leaned in a little closer, a little deeper into the kiss.

Felix pulled back and looked at the list again. "How many more can't you…how many didn't make it?"

"These three," said Eight, wiping her eyes again. She pointed out three names, one man and two women, one of them being Nora. She knew. She'd tried.

"So that's four free, four… Twenty seven names still on this list. Why don't we keep working from here? When it gets down to ten, I'll make a new list." Eight nodded.

They could do this. He could do this. One free for one dead wasn't great odds, but it was better than nothing. It was better than everyone being dead. It was small, but it was something. He was freeing people who might otherwise have died in detention, and he was changing things. Who knows what might happen from here.


	10. Chapter 10

"You have got to be the dumbest cylon in the universe," said Cottle, taking the cigarette out of his mouth.

Felix laughed. "Just here for the President's meds again, Sir." Actually, he'd been out to try and see the people Eight had said she'd managed to free. She'd assured him that he'd see them eventually, but eventually might never come for him, considering how little he was able to walk around the settlement. He wanted to know that what he was doing was helping, that people were getting back to their lives, what little of them was left. Sure, they'd never come and thank him for it, but he didn't need them to. Seeing them alive was enough. Enough to know that he wasn't what they all said he was, and that he was still Felix Gaeta. Not just another cylon.

In truth, the President wasn't even out of meds yet. He'd just been on his way to the mess hall to pick up a sack lunch when he saw Heather Redmon duck into Cottle's tent with her baby. Ishay was tending to them now, Heather soothing her baby's cries as Ishay applied a salve to Heather's bruises. Heather looked terrible, but she also looked happy. Happy to see her baby again. She wasn't separated from her child anymore, locked in detention. It was the least Felix could've done for her.

"What's that on your arm?" asked Cottle.

Felix turned his attention away from Heather and down to his arm. "Oh that. It's nothing." Just a gash from a shard of glass that had been thrown at him.

"Nothing my ass. Have a seat. I'll clean that out for you," Cottle said, grabbing some hydrogen peroxide before Felix could get away.

"No, it's okay. I'm sure you have better people to tend to." That caught Ishay's attention, and she turned to glare at him with a look that said "you're damn right". Heather looked at him too, though the only thing in her eyes was a deep hurt. Felix looked away.

"Anyone in need of medical attention is going to get it," stated Cottle matter-of-factly. Felix flinched when Cottle put the peroxide on his arm. It stung on the wound. He was glad the sensation of pain was still something he could feel as a cylon.

Felix paused, thinking back on what Cottle said as he'd walked in. "How did you know it was me?" he asked. He looked like all the other Sevens. No human had been able to tell them apart, not even Gaius, who Felix saw every day.

"That you're Lieutenant Gaeta and not some other cylon?" asked Cottle, not bothering to look up from the bandages he was measuring out.

"Yeah," replied Felix.

Cottle cut the bandage and placed it over the wound on Felix's arm. "You've got genuine expressions on your face. Don't see that in the other Sevens. Or in any of others come to think of it."

"How can you tell? I mean, none of the other humans can," asked Felix. He flinched again. Cottle was a little rough with the bandage tape.

"When you spend as much time around cylons as I do, you pick up on things," said Cottle, pulling off another piece of tape.

"But you're not the only one who-"

"You have to want to notice. Now, make sure you clean that wound with soap and water. I'd tell you not to come back here, but I know you're not going to listen."

Felix smiled. "Thanks. See you later."

Cottle grunted and lit another cigarette. Felix headed for the entrance, but stopped before he did, and took one last look at Heather and her baby. The child had stopped crying now, but Heather was still just as attentive to the infant, barely noticing what Ishay was doing. Felix smiled as he walked away.

 

Felix walked into the depository, tensing up as he walked past the Centurians. It didn't seem to matter how many times he walked by Centurian guards, they never ceased to give him an eerie feeling. The list was down to ten names, and as he'd promised, he was back to look for more. The odds hadn't gotten better, thirteen were dead while twelve had been freed, and if the cylons were starting to notice, they'd only get worse. Felix had wondered if this was still the right thing to do, to keep busting people out when others had to die for it. But he had to keep going. It was his fault those people were locked in there in the first place. He owed it to them to get them out.

"Drawer 22," Felix said, and the drawer popped open. Felix walked over to the drawer, noticing a crisp white sheet of paper. There was a new list of detainees on top of the others that had been there last time he was here. Apparently the cylons had wasted no time in filling all the cells he and Eight had left empty.

Felix picked up the sheet, the name of the very top of the list catching his eye. Felix shook his head. He knew this person was involved in the resistance, that they hadn't just been arresting for sneaking extra food or staying out too late at night. But if there was one person he'd betrayed the most, other than the Old Man himself- who'd been lucky enough to escape this place- it was this man. Felix needed twenty five or so names, but he had a feeling this would be the only one he would remember.

 

"No," said Eight, thrusting the paper back at him.

"Eight-" Felix started.

"We agreed, no one important, remember?"

"You said that they wouldn't let out anyone important. You never said you wouldn't try to do it on your own," insisted Felix. He remembered that conversation clearly, as if it had happened yesterday.

"Felix!" Eight shouted. Felix brought a finger to his lips to indicate to keep quiet. He didn't need anyone overhearing them, especially this conversation. "Everyone knows Saul Tigh is the leader of the resistance movement!"

Felix knew that, he knew as soon as word of a resistance got out. That was just how Colonel Tigh was. Felix would've been surprised if it had been any other name the cylons were whispering about. But that didn't mean Felix wasn't going to try and free him anyway.

"Look, Eight, he was my mentor for years, and he's a friend, okay?" 'I owe it to him for betraying my oath, _Galactica_, and everything I thought I was' was not what he wanted to tell Eight, despite it being the real truth. He trusted her, but she was still a cylon, and he could never trust her that much.

"Don't tell me you're still attached to the people from that ship," Eight spat at him.

"I spent three years on that ship, and another down here on this planet with them!" countered Felix.

"God dammit Felix, you're a cylon! You're not one of them! You never were and you never will be. When are you going to realize that?"

'I am one of them,' thought Felix. 'Just because I've got hardware instead of a nervous system doesn't change the fact that I was a Colonial Officer, that I was a respected member of that crew, and that these people are my friends and family.' But he didn't say anything.

Eight took the paper back from his hands and shook her head. "I'll try to get these people out, but not Colonel Tigh. Okay?"

Felix rubbed his face with his hands, frustrated that when it came to the people he most needed to pay back for his betrayal, there was nothing he could do. "Yeah. Sure. Could you try for more though? I don't like the odds that we've been having, I'd like to see more people alive and freed."

"Felix-"

"Just whatever you can do, okay? This is supposed to be a peaceful union, there's no reason for anyone to be killed."

Eight nodded and folded the list, then slid it into her pocket. Only this time, she didn't look so glad to be helping.

 

Felix rubbed his head and took another sip from his mug. There was not enough coffee in the world that could help him this morning. _You're a cylon, you're not one of them_ was all that was running through his mind. Was that really all there was to it? What was he doing here, trying to maintain his humanity? Would it be any easier if he just accepted himself as a cylon and forgot about his life for the past four years?

Felix wasn't expecting an answer, so when one happened to walk in the door, he was caught a little off guard.

"Seven, Gaius is looking for his meds and I can't find them anywhere. Do you have any idea where they are?" asked Six, exasperated, though Felix wasn't sure if it was with him or with Baltar.

"Back of the bottom drawer of his desk. Try there, it's where he used to keep them when he was still trying to hide the habit from me," suggested Felix.

"Thanks," said Six, and she turned to leave.

"Six, wait," said Felix. He wanted to know something, wanted to know about the emotions he had trouble reading on her face.

"Yes?" she replied, turning around and walking closer to Felix's desk.

Felix thought for a moment about how to ask what he wanted to know. 'Do you feel guilty?' wasn't the right question, since he wasn't sure if she'd done something she could feel guilty about, something like what he had done in allowing the cylons to take over New Caprica. He wasn't sure what else he might ask. He knew the answers he wanted, but didn't know the questions that would get him there.

"New Caprica?" he asked simply. It wasn't even a question formally, but it asked everything he'd been thinking.

"I thought it would be our chance to live with humanity. Our chance for…for me and Gaius. But the settlement… I don't even recognize Gaius anymore. He's less and less the man I once knew with each passing day. I know you think he doesn't care, but all this _is_ affecting him. This planet, these people, you."

"Me?" asked Felix, perplexed. He thought Gaius hated him, despised his very existance. It sure seemed that way, considering the things Gaius said to him on a daily basis.

"Yes you. He trusted you." Six sighed. "I can see why he did. I like you, Seven. I didn't want to, I wanted to be-"

"Jealous?" Felix added for her.

"Jealous. And I thought you'd try to pull me away, either because you loved him, or because you didn't think a cylon should be with a human. But you're different."

Felix swallowed. Different was bad when it came to the cylons. Different meant they could know what he was doing, that he was a sorry excuse for a cylon, and they would do something about him. The word different worried him. "Different?"

"You don't call me Caprica like I'm some kind of hero. I don't feel like a hero anymore." With that, Six got up and left the room.

No, it wasn't that easy. Felix couldn't be simply be a cylon and the guilt would disappear. Guilt wasn't just a human emotion. But unlike Six, Felix knew he couldn't just sit and watch the world crumble around him. Becoming more cylon would not assuage his guilt, but he could provide penance towards all those he'd wronged. And real penance came not from prayer but from action.

_You're not like them._ If only Eight had known that she was actually referring to the cylons.

 

Felix was walking to his tent the next day when he saw a bomb go off. It was the first explosion he'd seen in the settlement; the resistance was finally making themselves visible. It had exploded at the front doors of the detention center, probably killing a couple of Centurian guards in the process.

Felix shook his head. 'They'll never do much if they keep attacking the front. Those doors are heavily fortified, they'd kill more cylons if they set one at the back entrance at shift change.'

Felix stopped dead in his tracks. That was it. Getting people out of detention was a small gesture, from which only a handful of people benefitted. He hadn't betrayed just a few people, he'd betrayed them all. With what he knew, with the information he had access to, he could help the resistance, provide them with strategic targets and pave the way for a successful rescue mission when _Galactica_ eventually came back.

Felix was going to pay humanity back for what he'd done to them. He was going to get them off this planet.


	11. Chapter 11

The problem Felix encountered was that there was no one he could get his information to. No one trusted him. The only person who was even the least bit likely to believe him was Cottle, but Felix couldn't pass him information. Cottle spent a lot of time interacting with cylons, which greatly increased the likelihood that he'd be caught. Cottle was the closest thing he had to a friend anymore, and he didn't want to put the doctor in danger.

Ishay was a little safer choice, but she was still highly at risk working in Cottle's tent. She would, however, know a few people who might be connected to the resistance.

Felix couldn't approach her directly. Ishay despised him, and he didn't want to take his chances, especially with surgical instruments nearby. He could leave an anonymous note, just so long as he made sure she got it.

It was easy getting to Ishay's work station without suspicion, since Felix was becoming somewhat of a regular around Cottle's tent. Cottle didn't say anything, just rolled his eyes as Felix walked in.

"I wanted to get my cut checked out, if you don't mind," said Felix, pointing to the bandage still on his arm. The note he'd typed- he didn't want anything handwritten in case someone recognized his writing- was in his jacket pocket. It said simply, "Garbage dump."

Since he couldn't directly pass information to members of the resistance, a dead drop was the only way he'd have success in telling the colonials what they needed to know. The garbage dump was the best spot for it. The cylons never paid much attention to anything that went on around the dump. Neither did any of the humans, actually. It was just a place for everyone to throw their useless old junk- broken appliances that had no place to plug in anyway, furniture that had no good use, mementos belonging to people who'd died and no one knew what else to do with. There used to be an old man who'd come by to take some of the scraps and make new things out of them, but he'd died of pneumonia in the early days of the New Caprica settlement. Now the junk just piled up, and no one did anything with it.

Because no one ever spent any time there, it was doubtful anyone would discover anything Felix left there unless they were looking for it. Everyone, humans and cylons, tended to pass by on occasion, so no one would question his presence, or the presence of any resistance members. It was the perfect spot really. As long as Ishay managed to pass the note.

"Ow!" cried Felix. Cottle had ripped the bandage off, tearing him from his thoughts.

"You're fine. Now get out of here," said Cottle, before marching off to the back part of the tent. "Ishay," he said, "surgery prep. Let's go."

"Aye Sir," replied Ishay, who then followed Cottle through the partition flap.

Felix smiled. Perfect timing. Glancing out the front flap to make sure no one was coming, Felix crept over to Ishay's work station. He opened the top drawer of her medical cabinet, the one that contained bandages and her rubber gloves, and slipped the note in. She opened this drawer regularly, and was sure not to miss it. Felix then quietly shut the drawer, and checking again to make sure no one was watching, walked out of the tent.

 

Felix headed right away to the garbage dump. He didn't know how long it would be before Ishay saw the note and passed it on, if she did at all, so he wanted to be sure there was something in the garbage dump as promised. In his other jacket pocket was the note he intended to leave here. It detailed the detention center shift change, when it occurred and what door would be most opportune to target. If it fell into the right hands, the resistance could take out a good number of cylons and leave the resurrection ship backed up for a while. If it fell into the wrong ones…well, Felix didn't want to think about that.

The garbage dump was empty, just as predicted. Its only occupant was a shaggy dog named Jake that had belonged to the old man who rummaged for usable parts. He didn't belong to anyone now, he was more or less everybody's dog.

Felix knelt down to scratch behind the dog's ears. "Hey Jake. You're not going to rat me out for this, are you?" Jake let his tongue roll out and began panting. Felix ruffled his fur. "Good boy. I don't know what they do to other cylons who do things like this, but I don't want to find out." Felix's voice hitched. The possibilities ran through his mind of what might happen if he got caught. Various means of sadistic torture, neverending throughout his immortal life.

Felix tensed and Jake whimpered when he felt the change. "Sorry, boy," Felix whispered to the dog. He had to do this. Had to. No matter what the consequences were for him.

Felix gave Jake one last pat on the head and walked in to the tent that held most of the junk. There was an old tool drawer there which Felix had spotted before, and like he had at Ishay's station, he stuck the attack scenario in one of the drawers.

If Felix had been the religious type, he would have prayed that this would work. But Felix had stopped believing in the gods, or god, a long time ago, and the occupation of New Caprica only solidified his belief that there was no higher power out there.

 

Felix was in his tent that night anxiously lying awake. He hadn't gone back to the dump today for fear of raising anyone's suspicions. Not knowing whether anyone had seen the note or not was eating away at him.

"So how was your day?" asked Eight as she undressed. She wasn't asleep either, she tended to stay awake when Felix did. She hadn't mentioned the list all night, which only added to Felix's anxiety.

"Fine," said Felix. He wasn't going to tell her anything about the drop. He didn't trust her that much; there wasn't anyone he could trust that much. It was far too important for anyone to know about. The occassional person out of jail he could chance, but providing cylon intelligence to the resistance made him a huge traitor to the cylons.

Felix doubled back on his thoughts. He almost wanted to laugh at the irony of the whole situation, if it didn't make him feel so completely isolated. He was now equally a traitor to both sides, a double agent with no true allies. In his mission, he'd become completely alone. Then again, perhaps he'd always been.

 

The next day, Felix used his lunch break to head for the dump. He didn't have any information with him, though he could have easily brought a note on curfew patrols or tillium mining operations, but he wanted to make sure his messages were being received first. The dump was empty when he arrived, aside from Jake, who sat out front panting as always. Felix walked inside to check the drawer he'd left the note in.

Felix froze when he opened the drawer. There was a piece of paper inside, when the drawer presumably should have been empty. Felix slowly reached for the piece of paper and unfolded it. It was relatively blank, which surprised him, as the sheet he'd left had been filled with notes. This wasn't the piece of paper he'd left. One final fold undone, and Felix could read a simple note that had been left for him. "Leave a signal," it said. He recognized the writing. He'd seen it a hundred times before, whenever reports would come up from the flight deck. Felix was one of the few people who'd managed over time to decipher the Chief's handwriting.

The resistance had gotten his information. And with a guy like Chief receiving the intelligence, Felix was certain he'd be seeing it put to use fairly soon. A signal was a good idea. He couldn't well leave notes in Ishay's drawer every time he had something to pass along. Felix wasn't in Cottle's tent that often.

Felix walked outside with the note in his pocket. He surveyed the area around the dump for something he might be able to use as a signal whenever he had information to pass.

It didn't take long to spot the perfect signal. Leave it to the old mechanic to keep a dog bowl that was bright yellow in color. He hoped Jake wouldn't mind.

 

The next morning, Felix was glaring over Baltar's shoulder, both attempting to get Gaius to read a memorandum about a proposed human police force and trying to read it himself. The cylons now wanted to get the humans, ones other than Baltar anyway, to do their dirty work. Felix would've liked to think that the occupation was starting to weigh on their collective conscience, but more than likely, Felix suspected, they just wanted the resistance attacks to be directed at someone else. The memo said something about voluntary recruitment. Felix wanted to scoff. Scaring people into submission and threatening them with imprisonment or death hardly could be defined as "voluntary". As long as the detention center loomed on the horizon, he was sure some people would do whatever it took to stay out of it.

Felix looked from the memo to Gaius. As much distaste as he had for the man, Felix had to admit that even what Baltar was doing wasn't voluntary either. Gaius certainly didn't waltz into meetings and sign memos with a smile on his face. Felix's presence was proof of that; he wouldn't still be here if Baltar was completely cooperative.

Felix mentally shook himself and went back to studying the memo. There was no room to start feeling sorry for Gaius Baltar. Even if he was being intimidated into compliance, he was still the president. Gaius might not be able to order the cylons around, but he still had access to almost as much information as Felix did. Plus, he had a cylon that seemed to care about him, who reportedly had some influence among the cylon race. He could be doing _something_.

Felix didn't have time to reflect much more on it, because a Five came bursting through the door, looking sweaty and shaken. "There's a problem," he let out with a breath.

"What now?" asked Gaius. "Leak in the water distribution system? Broken tool at the tylium mine?" Felix rolled his eyes at the man's insolence.

"There's been an explosion at the detention center. It happened right as the morning shift was about to start. Six dead, twenty more wounded," the Five reported.

Felix tried his best not to grin.


	12. Chapter 12

Felix watched the smoke still smoldering from the raider docking station. It was the fifth attack in the last two weeks on prime cylon targets. After the first attack had been a success, the resistance knew they could trust Felix's information and were using it when they could. The signal was working, and even if most pedestrians weren't picking up on it, the Chief had caught on quickly. It was no surprise; the man had a well honed eye for details.

"Hey Jake," said Felix, scratching behind his ears. Felix had to admit, he'd developed a soft spot for the dog. Jake frankly didn't care what Felix was, so long as he provided some affection and the occassional dog biscuit. He'd whined the first few times Felix had flipped his bowl over and spilled all his water, but he barely even noticed now.

Felix gave Jake a pat on the head and walked into the dump. He slid into the drawer a memo about the backup plans should no humans volunteer for the police force. There wasn't any attack the resistance could plan from it, but it would be good information for them to know. Considering what the backup plan was, he hoped the resistance might even convince a few people to enlist.

As he made his way back to Colonial One, Felix spotted Eight out in the street. Normally it would have been odd for her to be out at this time of day, but her burns and bandaged hand had kept her out of work. Felix probably should have felt bad that his girlfriend was injured in the first attack he directed, but he didn't.

She was talking to another Eight about something. He thought about going over to say hello, when he saw Eight pull something out of her pocket. Felix stopped dead in his tracks.

It was the list.

Eight handed it to the other Eight, who then put it in her pocket. His Eight said something, and the two shook hands. Felix felt nauseous. Eight was supposed to be secretive about this, she was supposed to do this alone. No one else was supposed to see those lists. He didn't know what that other Eight would do with it. Worse yet, he didn't know if Eight had been giving away his lists before. He'd thought he could trust her. He had been wrong.

 

Felix sat in his tent that night, shaking. It was cold out that night and the chill sunk right into his nerves, making his shivering a reaction to both his anxiety and the weather.

Eight came into the tent; Felix had managed to beat her here. "You're here early. Short day at Colonial One?"

Felix just stared at her.

"I marked the list," said Eight, pulling the list from her pocket. It was the list he'd written, the same one he'd seen her give to the other Eight. She'd gotten it back somehow. "Stars for the ones I've gotten out."

Felix took the paper from her and unfolded it. There were five names with stars next to them. "What does it mean when they're crossed out?"

"Those are the people that…the ones that didn't make it." It was almost half the list.

"I thought I asked for better odds, what happened?" he asked her.

"I'm sorry Felix," she said, tearing up. The tears didn't look real. "There was nothing I could do."

"Nothing you could do?" spat Felix. "Or maybe it's because you're killing them yourself. Is that it?"

"Felix!"

"I saw you with that other Eight today. I saw you hand her the list," accused Felix.

"That wasn't what it might have looked like," she said, no longer teary, but tense. She was covering for herself, he could tell.

"You said you wouldn't let anyone else see that list. Another Eight, no matter how similar you might look, is still someone else. It was exactly what it looked like- you betraying me." Felix glared at her. He was about to start fuming. He had trusted her. He'd thought she had seen things differently, that humanity's suffering had meant something to her. He thought _he_ had meant something to her.

"Betrayed you? Betrayed _you_? Do you know how much I put myself at risk for what I did for you? I'm a cylon Felix. So are you, in case you've forgotten. We're not supposed to be helping the humans Felix. They're our enemy!"

"Our enemy? I thought we were supposed to be living here in peace?!" Felix shouted.

"That ended when they declared war on us," said Eight.

"Declared war on us?" asked Felix. "Weren't we the ones who initiated the destruction of the colonies?"

"Which was a counterstrike to their abuse and enslavement of us! 'I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. Slay them wherever you catch them.' That's what God commands! God has delivered our enemy into our hands. It's clear what we should have been doing here!"

A fury overcame Felix. He could feel his spine almost start to burn through his shirt, his vision turning red before him. She'd improved the odds alright. Her odds. Three she ordered dead for every lucky one who was spared her wrath. "Delivered them to us?" he shouted at her. "In case you're forgotten, the cylons were the ones who showed up here, not the other way around!"

"All thanks to the Six who sacrificed herself for us. Especially all thanks to the circumstances being just right when we arrived. How can you say they weren't delivered to us Seven, when you were the one who handed them over?!"

Felix snapped. With one quick motion, he pulled the pocket knife he carried from his pocket, flicked it open, and stabbed Eight right through the heart. She choked on her own breath as Felix wrenched the knife back from her chest and watched her fall to the ground. He stood there, blood dripping from the blade still in his hand as he exhaled his rage. How could she? He thought she'd been different. She was the worst one of all. How had he been so blind to have trusted her?

Felix dropped the knife. It landed on top of the body on the ground. She hadn't felt what he felt, she had no sense of loyalty or guilt towards the humans. She didn't understand them like he did. She lived by the things they'd been told about the human race and had never learned any differently. He never should have trusted another cylon.

"Oh Gods," said Felix. A cylon. She wasn't going to die, she was going to download. And when she did, the cylons on board the baseship were going to have access to all her memories, everything about the lists, and everything Felix had said to her.

Felix sank down onto the bed and put his head in his hands. "What have I done?"


	13. Chapter 13

Felix wished the humanoid cylons weren't able to tell the difference between him and the other Sevens. They'd know it was him as soon as the saw him. He was doomed. More importantly, his mission to get humanity off of New Caprica was doomed. They were going to die here, all because he'd been too overcome by anger to realize what he was doing.

"Hey Seven," said one of the Threes as she walked by him.

Felix tensed. "Hi," he replied curtly.

"Something wrong?" she asked, pausing her march to wherever she was headed.

She didn't look suspicious or like she was about to haul him off to detention, so Felix decided to push cautiously for an answer as to why. "Have you seen Eight lately?"

"The one who's been sleeping with you?"

"Um, yeah," said Felix, not wanting to elaborate.

"She's been boxed," Three said nonchalantly, and started to walk away.

Felix was really curious now. If they'd boxed her for letting people out of detention, surely they had to be after him. "Boxed?"

Three walked back toward Felix, rolling her eyes. "She was a damaged copy. Ever since that other Eight became pregnant, she was convinced that it might be possible for pure cylon children to be conceived. Even though we've already proven it's not. She'd said that if it was God's will that we be fruitful and multiply, that God would have to give her a child someday. God's will simply wasn't intended for her. Any cylon who rejects reality for religious zeal simply has to be boxed."

"Wait. So she-" started Felix.

"Why did you think she sought you out? You tried that experiment years ago, I don't know how she refused to believe it didn't work the first time." Felix tried not let his jaw drop open. "You didn't think it was because she loved you, did you? You, Caprica, Boomer, that Eight on Galactica, you all seem to have developed these foolish notions of love from hanging around humans too long. If only we'd known the effects of embedding earlier." Three shook her head as she walked off.

To think, he'd thought she actually had cared for him. He remembered it clearly now that Three had mentioned it. They'd never had a relationship, not in the human sense, anyway. Merely coupled up and frakked as part of the early attempt for cylon reproduction. Gotten together for the will of God, not their own feelings. Had he really been that desperate for anyone to still see him as a person that he had completely forgotten about their history? She'd used him. He was just a tool to her, to any of the cylons, for attempting to fulfill the wishes of a god Felix didn't even believe existed. He wasn't a person to the cylons, he was just another tool, designed for a specific purpose, like a hammer, or a lever, or a-

A machine.

He never should have expected any different.

 

Felix held back on handing over any information for almost a week after Eight. He knew he was safe now that she was boxed and unlikely to be rebooted, but he didn't feel it. He knew the resistance needed the intelligence, but he didn't want to be spotted around the garbage dump in case anyone suspected anything about him.

But the attack on the temple was enough to change that. Somehow, word had gotten around that the temple was a hiding place for resistance members and their weaponry. Felix wasn't sure if it was true or not, but that didn't matter to the cylons. They were simply ready for an excuse to get rid of a few humans. Official word was that they had all been resistance, or protecting the resistance, but when Felix saw the death tally, he knew they had just been there to worship. Young children, some young as two, had been killed in the raid.

Felix knew he couldn't stand to the side after that. This needed to stop. Unless he did something, innocent people were just going to keep dying.

Felix came to the dump today with the schedule for curfew patrols. It wasn't much, but it could keep a few people from accidently ending up in detention. He scratched Jake behind and his ears and headed inside the tent. Felix opened the drawer and was surprised to see a slip of paper inside. It hadn't been something he'd left, since Jake's bowl was rightside up when he walked in.

Curiously, Felix unfolded the slip of paper. In Galen's chickenscratch, it said, "please provide specs of cylon jamming frequencies." Felix sighed. He knew why the resistance wanted them. If they were able to break through a jammed frequency, they could get in touch with one of _Galactica_'s patrols. However, the resistance was dreaming if they thought they could puncture one of the jams. The cylons didn't have any weak frequencies, none weak enough for colonial technology to break through anyway.

Felix folded the note and put it in his pocket. He could provide them, they'd be easy enough to find with the help of a databank, but they wouldn't do any good. If the resistance tried sending signals through them night after night, the cylons would eventually detect it, and the signal's source would be uncovered. It was safer for the resistance not to have them. They would just have to do what they could to weaken the cylon forces for the day when the fleet would return to attack. Felix placed the curfew patrol schedule in the drawer and closed it.

 

Felix turned the slip of paper over in his hands. He should have been working on the stack of papers on his desk, but the one that had been in his pocket was all that was on his mind. Jamming frequencies. If the resistance could get through, they'd know when _Galactica_ was coming back and could mount a full scale ground attack. It'd increase the chances of a successful rescue. But the only way they could get through was if the existing frequencies were tampered with. Unfortunately, the frequencies were broadcast from the baseships and there was no way the resistance could get to them.

Felix could, if he resurrected onto one. However, if he did that, he'd be transplanting his memories into the collective data bank and the whole mission would be shot to hell. He might as well be turning himself in. So that method wasn't possible.

Felix set down the paper and rifled through the notes he kept in his desk drawer. It was all general information about the cylon operation on New Caprica, not anything on any specific initiative. He knew there was something about how ground to ship communications were set up in there somewhere.

There it was. Communications were being handled through a broadcast station on the very outskirts of occupied New Caprica. It was heavily guarded by flanks of Centurians so that no human could get close. Felix smiled. Centurians, who had no idea that he was any different from any other Seven. The cylons had no idea what they'd done when they'd programmed them that way.

 

It was cold out again. And dark, although at one in the morning, that was to be expected. Felix was wide awake as he made his way out to the broadcast station. He could see the outlines of tents as he walked by; Felix had always prided himself on having better than usual night vision during his days at the Academy, for whenever they snuck out to pull pranks on fellow cadets. Of course now he realized that the night vision was just simply a cylon attribute. Come to think of it, he had never actually been to the Academy either.

The broadcast station was easy to spot once he'd gotten beyond the plot of tents. It was hard to miss, in fact, with the legions of Centurian guards and the outline of a large satellite dish next to a small structure. The Centurians paid him no mind as he walked through their ranks. A faint glow emanated from inside the structure as Felix opened the door. It wasn't the walls, thank gods, but a data bank that had been set up in the room.  
Felix approached the data bank cautiously. It'd be so easy to lose himself in it again. He didn't want to be caught here for too long, lest anyone ask him just what it was he was doing. Felix fingered the hand towel he'd brought and stared into the wavering light of the data bank. It was almost like it was luring him in, calling to him. Stupid model quirk. He wished it didn't feel so damn good.

Felix set the towel on the edge of the bank, and slowly put his hand into the goo. The bank glowed a pinkish hue as he acquiesced himself to it. Feix closed his eyes. 'Concentrate,' he thought. 'You're only here to see if you can access the jamming codes from the ground. Just ignore the other data.' Frak but he wanted to go for a long relaxing swim in it. 'You get this done quickly, you can swimming in those springs out in the woods,' he promised himself. It worked, a little anyway. Reprogramming his own code, maybe.

After diving a little deeper into the flows of data, Felix spotted the jamming codes. Twenty frequencies in all, more than the colonials used for their broadcast channels. That was it, that was all he needed to know, but he simply couldn't resist the urge to play with it a bit. It was data, and it was there, right at his fingertips. Unable to hold back from manipulating it, Felix took a bit he found and flipped the zero to a one.

'Okay, enough,' Felix thought to himself. Felix removed his hand from the data bank and shook himself to get rid of the feeling of the data stream. He took the towel he'd sat on the edge of the bank and wiped the goo off his hand. He was glad he'd thought to bring it along; as good as the data stream felt, the goo was still disgusting. Perhaps it was a deterrent from swimming in it too much.

Felix hadn't been thinking when he flipped a bit of data, but now that he was completely coherent again, he realized that perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing that he'd done it. The data stream was enormous- programs and information for every single aspect of life, not just ship controls and attack plans, but emotions and mannerisms, not a single thing undocumented. It'd take centuries, if not millenia, to see it all. One changed bit in the vast ocean of data was bound to go unnoticed. If he flipped enough bits from zeroes to ones or ones to zeroes, he could eventually weaken one of the frequencies enough for the resistance to break through it. He'd have to manipulate more than one frequency, maybe even all of them, to assuage suspicion that would arise from only touching one. A couple bits every night, until it was safe to hand the codes over to the resistance.

This was going to take a while.


	14. Chapter 14

Despite what anyone said, it was definitely possible for cylons to get tired. Felix had only been sleeping four, five if he was lucky, hours a night, staying up well after dark in order to sneak off to the broadcast station every night. He'd started doing daytime runs now too, thanks to the other cylons that worked on Colonial One. Getting his request to transmit presidential reports to the baseships was easy enough, considering his validation- _Baltar is driving me nuts, I need to do something to get out of this office for a little while_ – was believable to any cylon. That, on top of his regular runs to the garbage dump, kept Felix very busy, and was making him exhausted.

Felix yawned. "Do I bore you that much, number Seven?" asked Gaius, taking a drink of ambrosia as he leaned lacklusterly over his desk.

"Oh, shut the frak up, Gaius," said Felix, yawning again and stretching his arms over his head.

Gaius didn't say anything more. He'd simply giving up trying to fight by this point.

"I'm going for a walk, Gaius, I'll be back in a while," said Felix, trying to stave off another yawn. Felix rubbed his eyes as he walked out of Gaius' office, nearly toppling over into Six in the process.

"Sorry," mumbled Felix, after he'd bumped into her.

"Seven, you look exhausted," said Six, putting a hand on Felix's shoulder.

Felix brushed it off. "I'm fine," he said. "Go comfort Gaius. He needs it more than I do."

"Are you sure?" she asked. The tone of her voice reminded him of Eight, at least in the early days of the occupation. Maybe this was the cylon he should have trusted with the lists.

Felix waved her off. He told himself he wouldn't think about the lists anymore. He _had_ gotten a few people out, he knew that. It hadn't been his fault that Eight was killing just as many. Though he couldn't help but feel that it was.

He couldn't think about it, not anymore. There was nothing he could do to change what had happened. He needed instead to concentrate on the things that were in his power. Like freeing the human race. "Yea, I'm sure. Just been busy is all," he told her, before walking off.

Felix walked down the dusty streets of New Caprica. Hardly anyone peered out of their tents anymore as he passed by. They were all just like Gaius: tired of fighting. Those who weren't were either in detention or in hiding, shielding themselves from the latest crackdown. New Caprican police force recruitment was up, a result of all the people who simply didn't know what else to do to keep themselves afloat anymore. As exhausted as Felix felt, it was nothing in comparison to the humans on this planet.

Even Jake was asleep, Felix noted when he arrived at the garbage dump. Felix had arrived with the security details for the New Caprican Police Academy graduation. The target this time wasn't the cylons, but Gaius Baltar. It wasn't about Gaius really, though. With the president dead, the cylons would be scrambling to find a new figurehead for their puppet government. If there was one position no one wanted, no matter how desperate, it was president, and trying to find someone could take the cylons weeks. Their continued insistance on a false face of legitimacy wouldn't let the cylons function without a human in the presidential office.

Felix opened the tool drawer to reveal a note that had been left for him. Felix took it out, stuck the security details in the drawer, and shut it again. Felix didn't even have to open the note to know what it said, but he did anyway. "Specs for cylon jamming frequencies." It was the tenth such note he'd seen already.

"Hang in there, guys," Felix said to no one but himself. "Not much longer. I promise."

Felix stuffed the note in his pocket to add to his collection. He slipped by Jake to flip the dog bowl, careful not to wake the dog and headed in the direction of the broadcast station to deliver his latest "message". Only a few more days of altering data bits and he should have at least one frequency weak enough.

Once he'd arrived, Felix pulled the hand towel from under his jacket and threw it onto the egde of the data bank. A corner of it went into the bank itself, splashing a bit of goo over the edge. Felix picked up the corner of the towel and sighed. Even swimming in the data stream was losing its appeal. Every day, twice a day, made the task more tedious than pleasurable. Still, he was almost done. Once the resistance was able to get through to _Galactica_, this hell that he had caused would be over. No more people in detention, no more weapons raids, no more arrests for breaking curfew, no more cowering under the terror of the cylons. Everyone would be safely back on their ships, and Felix would be…well, he didn't know what would happen to him. He couldn't even enjoy swimming in the data stream anymore, how was he going to live on a base ship?

That wasn't important. What was important was this. Felix put his hand into the data bank. Just a few more alterations. A few more reprogrammed bits and a cylon frequency could be broken by a colonial transmission. The cylons wouldn't even know they'd been sold out from the inside.

 

His path back to Colonial One was through the settlement, one that wasn't so bad at night, but uncomfortable to make during the day. A dusty breeze swept through the air, filling his mouth with the taste of dirt and grit. One of the humans, Mark Chambers, Tauron, formerly an investment banker, Felix reminded himself, walked by, hazy eyed and coughing from all the dust flying towards him. A member of the New Caprican Police stood nearby, watching both of them with a careful eye.

Off in the distance, Felix could see an old man appraoching. As he came closer, Felix saw that he looked weary, moreso than anyone else. He walked with a cane, so slow it was like a crawl. He was unshaven, unbathed, and ragged. A glint of white on his face told Felix he had a patch over an eye. Despite all that, he walked with his head held high, looking right into the face of anyone who dared look him in the eye. Frak, that wasn't an old man at all.

Felix quickly ducked into the space between two tents. When had Colonel Tigh gotten out of detention? And how? Was it a trap for the others? Or had he just gotten lucky?

The shuffle of feet grew closer, and Felix stood in the space waiting for him to pass. Tigh paused when he reached the space where Felix stood. He shot Felix a glare that pierced right through him, harsher than any he'd ever given as XO. Felix shivered. Colonel Tigh said nothing and kept on walking.

 

That night, Felix made his way through the settlement once more to the broadcast station. If Colonel Tigh was out of detention as part of a trap, Felix needed to act fast.

It was dangerous to alter so many data bits at once. It should have taken him a couple more days to finish on the jamming frequencies, but he couldn't afford to take it slow any longer. He stayed at the bank for over an hour, flipping bits and reprogramming frequencies to still work, just not as well. By the time he finished, frequency 425 was weak enough that a colonial transponder could penetrate it, and frequences 383 and 741 were weak enough for the stronger signals. If someone from _Galactica_ was out there, the resistance could make contact.

The next day, Felix left before work to take the list of cylon jamming frequencies out to the garbage dump. He'd stayed up the rest of the night typing them out on a typewriter, as to leave no trace of it. The details of all twenty frequencies were listed, including the three he'd altered.

Felix shoved the list into the drawer and nearly ran to tip over Jake's dog bowl. All he could do now was wait.


	15. Chapter 15

A suicide bombing. It hadn't been a surprise that Duck was the bomber, that much Felix had seen coming when he first saw Duck out of detention, but hearing just what had happened made Felix realize it was his information that was used to conduct the attack, and Felix had never imagined the resistance would do something like that. It was just supposed to leave New Caprica without a president, not kill thirty three humans. The worst part was that the mission hadn't even been accomplished; Baltar hadn't even been there. Thirty three people dead, for nothing.

Felix hoped the resistance had managed to get in touch with _Galactica_. He hadn't been feeding information so they could kill each other. Weren't the cylons doing enough of that already?

"Well, what do you think?" asked the other Seven.

"What do I think?" replied Felix indignantly. "I think it's deplorable. And if you think this is going to stop the resistance, you're out of your mind." Executions. It would only serve to drive the resistance more. And Felix would gladly hand over any bit of information that could help.

"Well, thankfully, you don't have a say in the matter. The rest of the line thinks it's a good idea. All we need to do is get Baltar to sign off on it."

"Yeah, well, good luck. You're not getting me to pressure him to do it this time." Baltar wouldn't sign off on it. Gaius might not be willing to help the people of New Caprica, but there was no way he could sign that list and not have it weigh on his conscience. He might not care, but he wasn't heartless.

 

Five had come in and tossed the paper on his desk for him to file. Felix was expecting it to be another memo on food rationing or some such. He didn't except to see a list of people Guilty of Crimes Punishable by Death. Felix flipped through the list. It was multiple pages of names of people: resistance members, people who had nothing to do with the resistance, people who he'd seen on the detention lists. All twelve members of the former quorum were on the list, everyone of the Baltar administration who'd been arrested as resistors on the first day of the occupation. Tom Zarek, Laura Roslin, Cally Tyrol, Felix knew every single name on that list. And at the very end- Gaius' signature.

That bastard. That frakking bastard. He probably hadn't even read the list, hadn't given it one look before signing it. Didn't he know he was condeming these people to die?

Felix snatched the list, the paper crinkling in his hands, and stormed into Gaius's office. "Gaius! Gaius!" he shouted, hoping he wasn't in the bedroom. He wasn't. Gaius was sitting there, simply sitting there, doing nothing, just like he always was.

"Did you sign this? Tell me you didn't sign this, Gaius." Felix knew he'd signed it, his signature was on the page. He just wanted to hear it from Baltar.

"Not now, Seven, I'm very tired-" Gaius started. Excuses. More excuses. Felix wasn't going to accept excuses this time.

"This is a death warrant!" he shouted. "Have you seen the names on this list? Do you have any idea what they're about to do out there? Are you listening to me?" Frak, he was probably drunk, not even paying attention to him.

"I didn't have any choice," droned Gaius.

"The hell is the matter with you? There are over two hundred names on this list! Have you even looked at the names? Look at the names!" Felix frantically shoved the paper in Baltar's face, grabbing his neck and forcing his head in the direction of the paper. Maybe he hadn't bothered to pay attention to it before, but he was damn well going to now.

"I've seen them!" Gaius shouted. "And who are you to be lecturing me about this list? You're a frakking cylon! And from my understanding," said Gaius, now standing up from his chair, walking towards the window, and pointing out into the encampment, "you are the one responsible for all this. So don't go lecturing me, when you're the one who allowed the cylons to take over in the first place."

Felix felt his blood start to boil. Maybe he was responsible for the occupation. Maybe this had been his fault. But he was trying damn hard to atone for it. He hadn't knowingly sent people to their death. And he sure as hell didn't choose to sit there impassively and just let things happen.

"And you think I don't feel guilty about that? Those are my friends out there Gaius and I did this to them! I have to live here every day knowing that! Do you even feel guilty about signing this list? DO YOU?"

Gaius said nothing. Felix wanted an answer, needed an answer. He bounded forward and slammed Gaius against the wall. "Do you?!" he shouted.

"Felix, what are you doing?" asked Gaius in a panic.

Felix stopped. He took his hands off of Gaius, and the man fell to the floor. "You called me Felix," he said softly.

"It is your name, isn't it?" asked Gaius, rubbing his chest and picking himself off the floor.

Gaius hadn't called him Felix in months. He hadn't even uttered the word Felix since the first days of the occupation. "It is, but-" Felix started.

"But what?"

"But-" Felix didn't even know what to say. He wasn't sure Gaius had even noticed what he'd just done. That was just how Gaius was, after all.

"I'm curious," said Gaius, "when you've been running off in the middle of the day lately, what exactly have you been doing?"

Felix wasn't quite sure how to answer that either. He didn't know how much he wanted to tell, not to mention it would take forever to explain everything. He needed to get this list to Chief before anything could happen. He didn't want to lie though either. Baltar _didn't_ hate him, despite everything Felix had thought, and maybe even still saw him as a person, at least subconsciously. "Atoning for my sins," Felix said.

"Well then, Mr. Gaeta, I hope you'll let me live long enough to atone for mine."

 

Felix tapped his pen on the desk. Nothing was coming through his office- nothing. Perhaps the cylons were taking their time plotting revenge for the resistance thwarting their plans for the hundreds of executions that had been scheduled. It had been almost a day since Felix had provided the resistance the list, and he expected to see something, anything, even just a status report on yesterday's events. Nothing. It made him nervous.

Felix kept tapping, the only sound in the room the noise of his pen hitting the desk. The tapping droned in his ears, bringing him into a trance, so he wasn't sure he'd heard correctly when another sound appeared. Felix stopped tapping. He hadn't been hearing things, something was really coming from outside. Felix dropped the pen and darted to the window. Bombs were going off, all over the settlement. So many attacks at once could only mean one thing: the resistance had gotten through to _Galactica_. This was it.

Felix ran outside. Humans and cylons alike were running everywhere, taking up arms. People with white ties around their arms were directing unarmed civilians toward ships, shooting at any cylon that tried to stop them. Explosions kept going off at major points: raider bases, guard stations, the detention center doors. Organized chaos had erupted on New Caprica.

It was dangerous for him to be standing in the middle of all of it. Though he had no intention of stopping anyone from escaping, he was still a target. It didn't matter now, however. There would be no more information to provide to the resistance, and no one to protect from the cylons obtaining his memories. They would all be gone, safely off this planet.

As the crowds of humans started to taper off, a bright light suddenly appeared in the sky. It didn't remain in place, but kept falling, faster and faster towards the ground. Felix hunkered down in shock between a couple tents. Thirty seconds until impact, Felix determined and began counting, twenty nine, twenty eight, twenty seven.

As it grew closer, Felix could finally tell just what it was falling through the sky. He might not have been able to make out the lettering through the bright light, but he knew the shape in a heartbeat, having spent three years learning every outline and compartment on board the ship. It was _Galactica_.

Felix stopped counting and rose to his feet. He watched as the ship came closer and closer, until it seemed as if it would hit the ground at any moment, then disappeared into thin air. The roar of raiders was now accompanied by the roar of Vipers trailing them. Overhead blasts joined those already arising on the ground.

Felix watched as the streets slowly emptied. Tents stood abandoned, debris scattered everywhere. All the memories and horrors of New Caprica left on the ground, tossed over their shoulders as they fled. No one would have to see this anymore, no one would die in detention any longer, there would be no more curfews, no more raids, no more lists. They were free.

Everything may have sped franctically around him, but for Felix, the world stood still. Felix stared into sky, standing watching as ship after ship rose and jumped away. He had done it. He had helped humanity get off New Caprica. Maybe it wasn't enough, maybe it would never be enough for stranding them here in the first place. But it was all he could do to pay them back for all the wrongs he'd caused.

As he stood there watching the exodus, Felix realized that perhaps it wasn't just the colonials he had set free from their burdens. He had given humanity their lives back, and in doing so, he had given himself something as well: redemption.


End file.
